Apr 23, 2007

So, would it sink or float? 

I'm convinced at this point that we should slice San Fran-sicko (to quote Michael Savage) off the edge of the continent and see what happens. Maybe put it on pay-per-view.

While going through the news reports about the recent crash of Blue Angel #6, LCDR Kevin Davis, I stumbled onto this gem at the SF Gate website. The question: should the Blue Angels perform over cities? Responding in the fashion that only the city of Nancy Pelosi can, here's what the geniuses came up with:
Frank Yee, San Rafael
As a teacher, there is no greater distraction or annoyance in the classroom than the Blue Angels roaring through San Francisco. Not only do I have to compete to have my voice heard -- always a losing proposition -- the Angels embody the image of a bellicose nation. Must our country continue to promote killing machines as part of our persona?

Julie Jensen, Lodi
This is a non-issue -- really, just fearmongering. If the primary concern is preventing tragic deaths in urban areas, providing universal health care along with banning cigarettes and fast food would be far more effective.

Kent Woo, San Francisco
Yes. This was a very isolated incident, one that occurred after hundreds, perhaps thousands, of performances. Let's not have a knee-jerk reaction to this one tragic event.

Irene Lucia, Santa Rosa
No way. It's a tragedy waiting to happen. In fact, I don't think they should be allowed to perform at all anymore. Think of the gallons and gallons of gas they use just for a show that is potentially extremely dangerous to them and to people below.
Thank you Kent for being the only sane person on the list. We will send a taxi for you 30 minutes before the demo charges hatch Lex Luthor's plan to make Arizona oceanfront property. The rest of you can get bent.

First - Frank, you're a moron. If the single most annoying thing in your whole year is the one or two hours where the Blues are flying, then you are truly blessed. I'm pretty sure that most public school teachers are more concerned about gang violence, truancy, the crap cafeteria food, the crap pay, or just the crap kids in general. But your GREATEST ANNOYANCE is having to try to talk over the sound of freedom. Here' a question: who ya talking to? This year the Blues perform in San Fran on October 6th and 7th… a Saturday and a Sunday, you asshat. Last year, same deal. I'm betting EVERY YEAR is that way.

As to your exit question - "must we continue to promote killing machines as part of our persona?" - here's a one word answer: YES. Here's the more expansive answer: YES, YOU ASSHOLE. Here's an even more expansive answer: YES, YOU ASSHOLE, and I hope something heavy falls on you. Without our killing machines, we get killed by others who have killing machines. (Hello, Virginia Tech. That "gun-free zone" thing worked out spectacularly didn't it?) Pop quiz: who's the bigger distraction - the Blue Angels or Achmed the suicide bomber? And remember, when Achmed self-detonates, you'll have to "compete to have your voice heard" over the ringing in everyone's ears. That's assuming they still have ears… or heads, for that matter...

Second - Julie. While you seem to grasp that the question is bull, your answer reveals you to be a true daughter of Frisco. Bravo and well done for sneaking in not one, not two, but THREE pet causes: Hillarycare, the Marlboro Man, and super-sizing. Truly, millions of "tragic" deaths could be avoided if the nanny-state were just allowed to remove all choice from the populace regarding their own health. But damn that BusHitler and his Patriot Act, taking away our freedoms. DAMN HIM!

And last - and possibly least - Irene. You're just a nitwit. And I say that with the assumption that you mean that an F-18 is a flying gas can poised to explode at any instant. If that's the case, then I hope you've stopped driving your VW wagon, because it has that same possibility. It's a tinder-box on wheels, I tell you. Or, of course, you could mean that it's the USE of the gas that's dangerous because we're raping Mother Gaya for natural resources and contributing to Global Warming. If THAT'S the case, then I hope you've stopped driving your Prius, you rapist of the planet

So, to sum up, I want to live in Otisburg, Lex Luthor was right, Superman should have left the fault line in pieces, and this is why I'm a Batman guy.


Fair winds and following seas to LCDR Davis. My condolences and prayers for his family. May he rest in peace.

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