Jan 27, 2004

Stuart Smalley Strikes Back 

Once again proving that he's all about free speech, unless it's YOURS....

Wise-cracking funnyman Al Franken yesterday body-slammed a demonstrator to the ground after the man tried to shout down Gov. Howard Dean.
Even though it's the notably conservative NY Post giving us the story, we can already see liberal media bias...... they called him "funny."

The tussle left Franken's trademark thick-rim glasses broken, but he said he was not injured.

Franken - who seemed in a state of shock and out of breath after the incident - was helped back to his feet by several people who watched the tussle. Police arrived soon after.

"I got down low and took his legs out," said Franken afterwards.
Thank Christ he didn't have a baseball bat or a powerdrill handy. Hey, the mob and the IRA have been kneecapping people for years, and have it down to a science. Seems Franken hasn't evolved from the ol' caveman tackle, though.

Franken said he's not backing Dean but merely wanted to protect the right of people to speak freely. "I would have done it if he was a Dean supporter at a Kerry rally," he said.

"I'm neutral in this race but I'm for freedom of speech, which means people should be able to assemble and speak without being shouted down."
But it's ok to go "rodeo" on somebody and bulldog 'em if they're the one doing the shouting.

The trouble started when several supporters of fringe presidential candidate Lyndon Larouche began shouting accusations at Dean.
C'mon guys can't we all just get along? I mean, all our little red books were written by the same guy. Well, if you can count on anybody's supporters to be more faithful than the "Deaniacs," it would be Larouche's people. He's only run for president in every election since 1976.... no really, I looked it up.

Franken emerged from the crowd and charged one male protester, grabbing him with a bear hug from behind and slamming him onto the floor.

"I was a wrestler so I used a wrestling move," Franken said.

Good to see that the Constitution was once again upheld by Al Franken. You can't just let those Jackbooted Thugs of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (when did Larouche join the VRWC?) keep talking! You have to wrestle them to the ground so that by shutting them up, everyone can enjoy free speech. Confused yet?

I wonder if the guy will press charges. I wonder if Al Franken will get thrown in jail for assault. And most importantly, I wonder if Al will look into the gathered mass of TV cameras that will be waiting for him when he posts bail and claim that the tackling dummy has infringed on his right to free speech.

But if this event spawns a new Constitutional Amendment that guarantees the Right to Random Clotheslining of people, I'm all for it.

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