Jul 12, 2004

Blogging across what now?... 

Okay, so "Blogging Across America" turned out to be a total disaster. I warned you it might, and boy did it. But I'm now in the loving embrace of the West Coast and that's all that matters. That and Harvey can relax now... I'm back. That's right Harv... just slowly move the razor away from your wrist... thaaaaaat's it... all better now, see?

Oh the stories I have for you all about the wonder that IS America... as it goes whipping by at 80 miles per hour. Yeah, yeah, I read the comments... "What'd he do, WALK there?!" NO. I had in-laws to visit.

Sadly they were in-laws with the SLOOOWEST America Offline account EV-ER. A toaster would have stayed connected to the internet longer than what they had goin'. And sadly, I faced technical difficulties getting my laptop to connect while I was on the road... mostly because I'm a damn idiot. The computer was probably thinking inside its superior computer brain "Ya know, if this damn moron would back off and let me do my thing we'd be surfing through all-KINDA crazy websites by now. But NOOOOO... he's just gonna beat on me and cuss instead... yeah... THAT'S productive.

Anyway, here's some highlights from the road:

- Alabama: gave some Army doggie directions to an Army base somewhere in Georgia (I forget which fort it was), proving once again that Marines are superior at land-navigation... and that Rand-McNally makes a damn handy road map

- Louisiana: (this may not be appropriate for the kiddies) Stopped with wife at roadside greasy-spoon/truckstop because she wanted to get a po'boy before we left the state. Ducked into men's room and saw the standard "pleasure package" machine on the wall with 'glow in the dark,' 'ribbed,' 'flavored,' and - no shite - "French Freedom Tickler.".... bought six...

I kid, I kid...

- Somewhere: Picked up a set of tapes at a truck stop. 8 hours of WWII news broadcasts. Live reports from Marines storming Iwo Jima. Speeches from Churchill. Good stuff. A whole other post will probably come outta this one. Remind me to do a compare and contrast of Michael Moore and Nazi propaganda broadcasts from 1940 sometime.

- Texas: Thanked GOD that my cd player worked, as 200 miles of I-10 in west Texas not only don't offer you cell phone coverage, but also no radio stations... at all.

- Texas: (hey it's a big state, it gets two entries) Got a hair cut in El Paso from the Army at Fort Whateveritis (name slips my mind right now). Thanked God I wasn't in the Army to possibly get stationed in El Paso. Motivated haircut, though, I'll give 'em that.

Anyway, that's all you get for now. I currently only have access to a public computer so posting may be sparse for awhile... again. Deal with it. Till then you WILL visit my buddy Nikoms over at Scottish Tanker Hooligans. Me and him both got into blogging as a result of too many hours locked into a small room together in North Carolina while the rest of the Marine Corps was off in the desert somewhere. Trust me when I say that you'd best show up prepared to laugh... unless you're a dirty hippie... in which case you'd better bring some type of cranial protection device as a brickbat WILL be applied to your skull.

Talk to you all later.

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