Feb 2, 2005

The island of misfit toys Jihadis 

Behold a horrific scene:

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The dirty mokey-felching Jihadis have taken one of our fine soldiers hostage and are demanding the release of some of their worthless ilk, or they'll kill him.

Only problem is this:

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They kidnapped a GI Joe.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...

I recommend a strong and immediate response. We need to have the Green Berets Army Men on call to do a takedown once we have actionfigure actionable intelligence.

I want the USS George Washington Rubber Ducky ready to launch a full complement of SuperHornets paper airplanes loaded with Maverick Nerf missiles.

And for GOD'S SAKE, somebody call up Mini Ermey!

This one just takes the cake, people. Somebody either hacked a terrorist website and spoofed 'em... HARD. OR - and this is not unlikely - these guys are actually THAT DUMB.

You see, when you take the time to make a video demanding the release of a buch of your buddies, it helps if you have a bargaining chip. An action figure ain't cuttin' it.

What kills me is that somebody took the time to make a little flag to hang in the background.
Isn't it pwecious?

Did they think that his total lack of expression wouldn't be a little obvious? Did they think it wouldn't seem odd to us that he's the only prisoner in history to be captive and STILL have a vest on that looks like it's holding either flashbangs, smoke, or thermite grenades?

Oh how I'd LOVE to see the DoD send a response.

Take an Osama bin-Laden doll and throw it into the pigpen on the Fisher-Price Farm.

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Then have a voice over of Osama claiming that martyrdom is the highest form of Jihad, stick an M-80 up his ass, and send him to his 72 Barbies.

And I'm not the only one who thinks this requires a swift response.

Any other ideas on how we should take it to the bastards?

And yes, the 1st Plastic Head Melting Brigade, 3rd Mobile Magnifying Glass Division has already been put on full alert. They'll jump in at dawn. Sadly, their weapons will be completely ineffective until around noon...

UPDATE: Frank J. points out the fact that the abduction is quite obviously George Bush's fault... at least Democratic Underground thinks so. You'll have to go to IMAO to get Frank's link to the shenanigans at DU. I refuse to link to those people...

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