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Nov 7, 2006

Heh 

Block out the elections and take a minute to laugh...

Former Marine Sniper Slapped With 3,000-Yard Restraining Order
MACON, GA—Citing Emily Holman's right to feel safe traversing vast open spaces, especially when within visual range of clock towers, parking structures, and tall buildings, a judge awarded the 28-year-old a 3,000-yard restraining order yesterday against her former boyfriend, retired Marine sniper Gordon Lee Blackwood. "When we broke up he started calling me 10 times a day from his job," said Holman, who realized Blackwood's office building, which had an open, flat roof, was only 1,800 yards away. "He had me flinching every time I saw sunlight glinting off any surface within two and a half miles." Blackwood would not comment on the judge's decision, saying only that he still loved Holman and was trying to understand the distance and crosswinds that separated them.
The staff [of the Onion] decided on a Marine because “if it were an Army sniper, it would have been a 2,000-yard restraining order.”
Posted by: Mike the Marine / 20:35
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