Feb 28, 2007

Next up: flying monkeys? 

So the dirty Red ChiComs Chinese claim that they have been able to play around in the brainpans of pigeons and make them remote-controllable. What possible use could this have, you say? Maybe carrier pigeons will come back into favor now that you can guarantee arrival? Orrrr…
Global Pigeon
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Think about it. What could be stealthier than birds that are actually UAVs? It's a double whammie for the Chinese too, because if we ever get into a shooting war and they send up whole flocks of these things, we can't shoot them down because the dirty tree hugging hippies animal rights activists would throw a massive hissy-fit. Can you even imagine the ramifications? Pigeon coops for captured Chinese birds would be called the new Abu Gharibs. Sam the Eagle would be vilified in the press for eating smaller, weaker birds because he wanted to take control of their territory and resources. Negotiations at the UN would break down over massive world-wide proliferation of kung-pow chicken…

Hey, you think I'm jokin' around here? Start training your cats now, people.

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