Jun 30, 2006

Wait... what? 

And then... confusion set in...
According to Parker, Belile agreed on the day of his exoneration to record “Hajji Girl” with the Mike Church Show Band after being advised by Marine officials that he was free to perform the song “as long as he didn’t do it as a Marine in uniform.”

But by the end of the week, according to Mosher, the Corps’ position had changed.

“I just got off the phone with Josh and he acted like it was something he couldn’t do because of his command,” Mosher said June 29. “He just said he had talked to his superiors and I was led to believe they told him it was now a no-no.”
“He told me he couldn’t do it at this time because he had talked to his command,” Mosher said on Friday. “When he phrased it like that, I asked if it was something that would get him in trouble and he said ‘yes.’ ”
Soooo... did his command just put the muzzle back on after the Corps said it was okay to take it off? Or - the even worse possibility - did the Corps just throw a bone to the outraged masses in the form of a smiley, happy press release, and then cave to CAIR anyway?

Ugh. Semper Fi, Mac.

Jun 29, 2006

Dumb and Dumber 

Dumb: Letting the two Times papers (NY & LA) slide for releasing classified intel to the world. We used to shoot people for that kind of crap. Now our elected representatives go all noodle-spined at the thought of actually calling out treasonous acts by American media giants. How nice.

Dumber: The Supreme Court tells me that I'm no better than a terrorist and that he should get all the same rights that I have.

If you need me, I'll be following the example set by Justices Stevens, Ginsburg, Souter, Breyer, and Kennedy, and wiping my ass with the Constitution while boning up on my shari'a law... you know... just in case. And if you were wondering, these same five all also voted in 2004 that non-US citizens seized in military operations had the right to have their cases heard in a US court. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. How 'bout you?

Hugh Hewitt is all over it.

My Batman theory confirmed 

Batman's going to fight Al-Qaida, but "all that stuff" is as close as Superman is gonna get to the American Way.


Will I still see the movie? Probably... but I'll most likely throw a fit like a rabid fanboy when they come to that line.

What a crock...

Jun 28, 2006

Oh... THERE'S my Corps! 

Well, praise the lord and pass the ammunition!

Marine will not be prosecuted for ‘Hadji Girl’ song

Of course, the Corps' "official statement" is still "that we feel the lyrics were inappropriate." Fortunately, there were probably some Generals out there that didn't "feel" the same way and maybe even "thought" the lyrics were funny. And best of all, the UCMJ don't have a thing to say on the subject. That makes ME "feel" happy.

Michelle Malkin has a statement from the Cpl, which - if you read between the lines - makes it sound like he might be considering getting out. I couldn't really blame him, but that would be too bad. He's the kind of guy we need a few more of around here.

But at least we got this one right.

Jun 20, 2006

Read Bill Whittle. 

Jun 18, 2006

America IS Batman 

* Now updated with the "Robin Corollary"

By show of hands, who here has seen the latest Batman film, Batman Begins? Okay, now put your hands down, because you look silly sitting all by yourself in front of the computer with one paw in the air.

I’ve seen the film numerous times and have stated before that I thought it was the BEST. BATMAN. EVER. But today I caught the last five minutes of it and realized something: America IS Batman. This could take a bit to explain, and I’m going to save the kicker – the single line from the film that actually convinced me of this - for the end. So, follow me to the Batcave.

I know a lot of you would argue with me that no, no, no… America is Superman. Sorry to burst your bubble, but no, we’re Batman. Nothing against Supes. When I was a kid he was my favorite. I mean, he’s the easiest one to be: pull on your footie-jammies, put your undies on the outside, and tie a blanket around your neck. Then run around making “woosh” sounds with your arms out. Simple. No utility belt, no Batarang, no Batmobile required. Done.

On a side note about Superman, I saw a preview for the new film where the chief at the Daily Planet says he wants to know if Superman “still stands for truth, justice, and all that stuff.” All that STUFF? What the hell happened to “the American Way”? Superman = Truth, Justice, and the AMERICAN WAY. The “American Way” better have made it into Superman Returns, or I’m callin’ bull.

But as cool as Supes is, America IS Batman. And it goes to follow that the rest of the world can be broken down into very basic Batman categories.

The easiest is, of course, bad guys. If America IS Batman, then places like North Korea, Iran, China – these are the bad guys. Break ‘em down however you like. Joker, Riddler, Penguin, Scarecrow, what have you. Iraq, however, is quite obviously Harvey Dent – aka “Two Face.” Has to be. A nation that has a split personality about America? Half want to kill us, half want to hug us? That’s a gimme. Two-Face, no doubt.

Commissioner Gordon and the Gotham PD? Well, as close as I can figure that’s the Brits. They help out as much as they can, but they have corruption inside their own ranks - locals who have aligned themselves with the bad guys. For these police who are on the take, the destruction of Gotham is either something they don’t care about, or are actively working towards.

So now, if the Brits are Commissioner Gordon, who’s Alfred? I mean, he’s BRITISH fer pete’s sake. Well, I’m thinking he’s more along the line of Canada. Stay with me, now… We’ve basically lived in the same house for years, and he’s not really the gun-toting, fast-car-driving, man-of-action type. He supports us. He knows our secret identity. And if he has to, he’ll crack somebody over the head to give us a hand. But most times when we hop into the Batmobile and go tear-assing into Gotham at Zero-Dark Thirty, Alfred stays at the manor, tidies up the Batcave, and has tea ready for us when we get back. Good dude, but not really a kung-fu fighter.

So, where does Robin fit in? He wasn't in the latest film and I originally didn't include him here, but when it was commented that Australia would better represent Alfred, that's when the Robin Corollary came about. You see, the Aussies are a more rough and tumble bunch (for the most part, I think) than our neighbors to the north. They're willing to throw a few more *POW*s and *WHACK*s than the Canadians are... nothing against the Canucks. When we leave the Batcave, Alfred has a tendency to stay behind. Robin on the other hand, may not be as big or have as much stuff on his utility belt as we do, but he's usually on his way into Gotham right along side us. He's a hell of a lot scrappier than he looks and you would do well not to underestimate him. Australia is Robin.

America IS Batman. Think about it:

-We are the richest guy in town. We run Wayne Enterprises. We have more money than everybody. We can be extravagant, buying hotels and building sometimes self-important stuff on a whim. But a lot of that is not really what we’re all about… people often forget that we’re the most philanthropic guy in town, too.

- Where do we get those wonderful toys? From a lot of places actually, but we’re the only one who has them, and we use them to kick a lot of ass.

- We’ve suffered tragedy, and it was this tragedy which spurred us to action. We have overcome our worst fears and then visited them upon evil doers. Justice is what we are after, and we will not stop until the good people of Gotham don’t need the Batsignal anymore.

The rest of the Westernized World, however, is Rachel Dawes - Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend - played by Katie Holmes. How so?

- She’s a lawyer, more interested in “the process,” and under the impression that justice and vengeance are always mutually exclusive, when in actuality we know that they sometimes – not always, but sometimes - happily coincide.

- She carries a tazer. A single shot, short-range only, non-lethal “weapon” that leaves the user barely less vulnerable than if they didn’t have anything worse than a bad attitude. It is a weapon carried by someone who has no interest in EVER going on the offensive, leaves the carrier completely vulnerable to an attack by a secondary party from a different direction, and is lamented at times - by the carrier - for possibly being too harmful to the attacker. In short, it is something used by wusses. In contrast, we – Batman – know martial arts, use a crapload of gadgets, strike from the shadows to divide and conquer, and generally fear no evil, for we are the baddest son of a bitch in the valley. We are constantly saving Rachel’s ass.

But this is what crystallized it for me that America IS Batman. The conclusion I came to first was actually that Rachel – Bruce’s girlfriend – was the rest of the Westernized World. America being Batman followed as a natural corollary.

I heard her say these lines:
Rachel: I never stopped thinking about you... about us... when I heard you were back, I started to hope... That was before I found out about your mask.

Bruce Wayne: Batman's just a symbol, Rachel.

Rachel: No, this is your mask. Your real face is the one that criminals now fear. The man I loved - the man who vanished - he never came back at all. But maybe he's still out there, somewhere. Maybe someday when Gotham no longer needs Batman, I'll see him again.
You catch that? The man she loved is gone. The new one who stands up for himself… who stands up for HER, is now too big and scary. She preferred the soft, wimpy kid who didn’t fight back. The one who suffered the tragedy and sat and cried, before he pulled himself together and started down a path to bring justice to the city. She hopes to see him again after he’s done cleaning up the place. She used to like him, but ever since he – you know – became a man… she’s lost all interest. And will probably belittle him for his methods and long for the old days when she loved him for being vulnerable and fragile.

And that’s when it clicked. She’s the Western World. And therefore, America IS Batman.

You may call me a loon. You may say that I’m one step away from being a drooling, fanboy idiot. But just TRY and punch holes in my logic… I DARE you.

To top it all off, just guess who (in the comic books) Batman’s next enemy is going to be.



So the next time somebody asks you who you are, you will be well within your rights to look at them and say:

I’m Batman.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Jun 14, 2006

Where is my Marine Corps, and what have you done with it? 

I'll start off this post by saying that I am NOT an official source or mouthpiece for the Marines. That being said: where is my Corps, and what have you done with it?

This week, a Corporal from 2nd Marine Aircraft Wing got in hot water over a song that he wrote after a whiney, terrorist-tied group known as CAIR (the Council on American-Islamic Relations) bitched about it being put up on YouTube.

Why are we as a Corps bending over for these people? It's a song about a Marine getting lured into an ambush, overcoming the enemy, and kicking his ass. So it throws around the word "hadji" which has often been used in a derogatory fashion to describe insurgents. So what? I know it's too much to ask for the media to belittle the enemy and maybe call him a few names, but now the American fighting man is supposed to not utter harsh words about him too? WTF? I can kill him, but I can't talk shit about him? Is that the policy now!? Good thing I never talked any smack about Zarqawi... I could've been frikin' fired, apparently...

When I was at Al Asad last year, this video was circulating. So much so, that by December, you couldn't make it across base without hearing it coming from some computer or mp3 player. It was recorded at an open-mic night at the MWR (Morale, Welfare, and Recreation Center) on base, probably in late October or early November last year (just a guess on my part) and became wildly popular, in no small part due to the fact that it's chorus comes from "Team America: World Police," a movie that damn near every Marine I know loves.

The fact that the media is trying to directly link this to Haditha comes as no surprise. The end of nearly every news story about "Hadji Girl" ends with a sentence on Haditha... how nice.

But now, the Marine Corps is literally scouring the UCMJ to try to find something to fry this kid on. Unreal.

Maybe if we focused on real threats to good order and discipline, told terrorist fundraising organizations to pound sand, and put it little hate in our hearts towards those who are trying to kill us, we'd get somewhere. Not so long ago, this USED TO BE company policy...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

UPDATE: Michelle Malkin exposes an unbelievable double standard on this issue. Check it out.

Jun 8, 2006

R.I.P., A.M.Z. 

Rot In Pieces, Abu Musab Zarqawi

My first reaction this morning upon hearing the news was the following, which should not be played at full volume if small children are present, or you are at work... unless you work someplace like a Marine base (where we were positively giddy this morning).

My theme music.

Of course, Allah had to throw down his own AMZ greatest hits remix. Kickass.

And do you want proof that there's progress in Iraq? In all the video I saw today of celebrations that Zarqawi ate 1000 pounds of gravity-powered love, I noted one thing: there was NO "celebratory fire." Remember folks, Iraq is still basically the wild west. When the soccer team wins, AKs ring out in celebration sending 7.62 flying everywhere... which is generally hazardous to people's health. I saw video of Iraqi cops and army celebrating and they all had weapons, but not a one of them was firing in the air. Could that be the first inklings of a civilized society? You know, a professional military and police force that understands gun safety... or am I reading too much into this?

Anyway, ol' jackass wanted to become a martyr, and we're more than happy to oblige. Who's next for the 72 virgins raisins? Line forms to the left...

Jun 5, 2006

Misplaced outrage and historical perspective 

The picture:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The thousand words (God, Mark Steyn's good):
I don't know any more than you do about the precise nature of events triggered in Haditha by Cpl. Terrazas' death. But assume every dark rumor you've heard is true, that this was the murder of civilians by American service personnel. In the run-up to March 2003, there were respectable cases to be made for and against the Iraq war. Nothing that happened at Haditha alters either argument. And, if you're one of the ever swelling numbers of molting hawks among the media, the political class and the American people for whom Haditha is the final straw, that's not a sign of your belated moral integrity but of your fundamental unseriousness. Anyone who supports the launching of a war should be clear-sighted enough to know that, when the troops go in, a few of them will kill civilians, bomb schools, torture prisoners. It happens in every war in human history, even the good ones. Individual Americans, Britons, Canadians, Australians did bad things in World War II and World War I. These aren't stunning surprises, they're inevitable: It might be a bombed mosque or a gunned-down pregnant woman or a slaughtered wedding party, but it will certainly be something. And, in the scales of history, it makes no difference to the justice of the cause and the need for victory.

For three years, coalition forces in Iraq behaved so well that a salivating Vietnam culture had to make do with the thinnest of pickings: one depraved jailhouse, a prisoner on a dog leash with a pair of Victoria's Secret panties on his head and an unusually positioned banana. "Just look at the way U.S. army reservist Lynndie England holds the leash of the naked, bearded Iraqi," wrote Robert Fisk, the dean of the global media's Middle Eastern correspondents. "No sadistic movie could outdo the damage of this image. In September 2001, the planes smashed into the buildings; today, Lynndie smashes to pieces our entire morality with just one tug on the leash."

Down, boy.

But now at last the media have their story. They're off the leash. And, if the worst rumors are true, those 10 Marines will come to symbolize the 99.99 percent of their comrades who every day do great things for the Iraqi and Afghan people.
Of course, is there any chance we'll capitalize on the enemy's own actions? Probably not:

21 Shias and Kurds taken off bus and shot at fake checkpoint
According to local police the passengers were separated on the side of the road into Sunni Arabs and non-Sunni Arabs. The non-Sunnis, including 19 Shia Turkomen and two Kurds, were then shot. Some tried to escape but were gunned down.

The dead also included several elderly men, police said. One person was wounded. Four Sunni Arab passengers who survived the ordeal were later helping police with their inquiries.

The attack came a day after police discovered seven severed heads in banana boxes by the roadside in Baquba, a mixed Sunni-Shia town that has seen a surge in violence. Another head, that of a local Sunni cleric, was perched on top of the boxes.

A note with the heads said: "This is the fate of every traitor. Hell will be his final destination." Police believe the seven beheaded men were Sunni cousins who worked together driving lorries for foreign contractors.
Regardless of if the Haditha stuff turns out to be true, you can bet that right now there are bad guys spreading the word to all their little bad guy buddies to start telling these tales as far and as wide as possible. I expect to see a flood of these stories - all false - popping up in the near future. Why? Because the enemy knows that we run ourselves ragged trying to prove or disprove the story's validity. We will expend massive time and energy, and while the accusations are front page news, the retractions when the story turns out to be untrue get buried on page C-27 right behind the blue-haired little old lady who won the local chili cookoff.

Like I said before, we used to see enemies for who they were:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Hell, we didn't even have to make up bad things to say about them.
Kinda like now, if we pulled our heads out of our asses...

On the eve of the D-Day anniversary, remember this: the outcome of World War II was not a foregone conclusion. It was very much in doubt and could have been lost. The same holds for this war. It's time we pulled out some old tricks to beat the new enemy.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Jun 3, 2006

Uncle Jimbo 

Well, Jim from Blackfive was on CNN today doing an interview that they had actually emailed and asked me to do a couple days ago. Yeah... little ol' me.

I guess my last post was interesting in some way. More likely, they wanted feedback from somebody who had linked to the Arwa Damon story at CNN.com (something both Jimbo and I had done), as they had her on the air at the same time.

Well done, Jimbo. I think you came across far more eloquently than I ever could have.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Weblog Commenting by HaloScan.com