May 28, 2008

Good news? 

Would you believe your enemy if he admitted - in the middle of the fight - that you were kicking his ass? Despite all the big talk and bravado that comes from the mouths of jihadists (yeah, I got the memo... but I burned it) it would appear that the bad guys know the score in Iraq and are talking it over amongst themselves, support-group style. Remember, the first step is admitting you have a problem...

May 21, 2008

What's wrong with America 

-----Original Message-----
From: Marathon Petroleum Company and SuperAmerica Gas Stations
Sent: March 27, 2008 11:05 AM
To: All criminals
Subject: FREE MONEY!

To whom it may concern,
We would like to inform you of our willingness to FUND YOUR CRIMINAL
ENTERPRISE! We have a ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY when it comes to our
employees attempts to interfere with your personal initiative at
redistribution of wealth. We want to make sure that there's NO
CONFUSION: OUR money is actually YOUR money, and we here at Marathon
Petroleum and SuperAmerica are very sorry that some FORMER employees
hindered your efforts. We will be more than happy to supply legal
services for you - free of charge, naturally - if you should ever wish
to bring legal action against any of our FORMER employees who may have
caused you any pain, anguish, or suffering. Please accept our sincerest
apologies and feel free to return to our stations again whenever you'd
like some more of our - OOPS! - YOUR money!

The Marathon Petroleum/SuperAmerica Team

May 19, 2008


Well, fortunately not quite. Check out this Marine from 24 MEU do his best Matrix move.

I'll bet he keeps his flak and kevlar handier next time...

May 18, 2008

FEAR me 

That's right, you poor little sheep. F@%*ING FEAR ME. At least, that's what Sen Tom Harkin (D-Ass), would have you do.
[His] family background as the son and grandson of [sailors and Marines] has given him a worldview shaped by the military, “and he has a hard time thinking beyond that,” Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Ia., said Friday.

“I think he’s trapped in that,” Harkin said in a conference call with Iowa reporters. “Everything is looked at from his life experiences, from always having been in the military, and I think that can be pretty dangerous.”

Harkin said that “it’s one thing to have been drafted and served, but another thing when you come from generations of military people and that’s just how you’re steeped, how you’ve learned, how you’ve grown up.”
Well, maybe he wasn't talking about me directly. But I'll bet you can guess who he WAS talking about.

But all you mere mortals should fear me anyway. Remember, I'm the only candidate who's promised you a mountain of skulls... And isn't that the kind of cooperative, reaching-across-the-aisle, leader that you've all been waiting for? In fact, here's my latest campaign ad.

But at least I haven't been "sealed away" from the "realities of war". So I've got that going for me... which is nice.

UPDATE: As Larry pointed out in the comments, Tom Harkin's mouth is writing checks that his body had the chance to cash... but didn't.

May 16, 2008

Wear it anyway 

Graduates attending the commencement ceremony at Bloomer High School May 31 will be required to wear caps and gowns, according to a policy set by the Bloomer School Board Monday night.

Setting that policy appears to be in direct response to a request by one graduate, Daniel Lingen, to wear his Marine Corps dress blue uniform.
Daniel Lingen completed his high school program by January, and so was allowed to go directly to the Marine Corps. According to his father, Daniel graduated from the basic training program in a ceremony.

Daniel is still part of the BHS graduating class, though, and when it came time to order his cap and gown, said he didn't want to do so because he wanted to wear his Marine dress blue uniform.
Screw 'em, kid. You're already out. What are they gonna do, send you to detention?

God, I wish this kid was already an NCO so he could show up with the sword. Think of the unholy hell THAT would unleash...

H/t to MM, who points out two more migrane-inspiring stories here.

May 7, 2008

There it is again 

Heard that sound again today, but I think it was only a test because the all clear sounded almost immediately and I didn't hear any impacts. But - yet again - it was when I was in the chow hall...

I smell a plot...

Can you hear me now? 

I've dropped a signal on my cellphone just by changing which ear I'm holding it to - and that's back in the States. So I have to wonder which service this soldier in Afghanistan uses, because it damn sure works. Of course, there are times where'd you'd prefer it if the call DIDN'T connect...

May 5, 2008

An eternal question 

The question that I think most Marines ask when they are awarded something for valor (or for any other reason, I suppose) is "do I deserve it?" Most will staunchly maintain that they were just doing their job. But many times, they are not the best judges of their own worthiness.

One such Staff Sergeant, who was part of my 2005 MEU, was acknowledged for his actions during Operation Steel Curtain. And he posed that very question to another Marine - the reporter.
"Now you tell me; do I deserve it?"

This is a serious question following a sincere conversation, but to understand its weight, you have to understand the context. It's May 15, 2007, and I'm sitting on a metal picnic bench across from Staff Sgt. Logan Cortes. Let's just say his doubt has begun to set in.

Two hours prior, he was presented with the Bronze Star with combat distinguishing device for actions Nov. 16, 2005, during Operation Iraqi Freedom in Anbar province with 2nd Battalion, 1st Marine regiment, then making up the battalion landing team for the 13th Marine Expeditionary Unit (Special Operations Capable).

At this point, the interview is almost over and the story has been laid bare; I have most of the general facts of what happened in New Ubaydi on that day during Operation Steel Curtain.

I'm going over the story again in my mind when Cortes repeats his question.

"Do I deserve it?"

He's talking about the medal. His Bronze Star.

This is a fairly heavy question to pose to a lance corporal who's never seen actual combat.

I think about it, and the evidence, and my reply takes less than two seconds to surface.

Yes. You do, staff sergeant.

And after a short pause, I explain why.

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