Jun 15, 2008

'Raqstar 

New posts will appear below this one until the above date... mostly because it took me awhile to put this together and I don't want it to get buried...



UPDATE: For those who asked, we are now YouTubed.
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May 21, 2008

What's wrong with America 

-----Original Message-----
From: Marathon Petroleum Company and SuperAmerica Gas Stations
Sent: March 27, 2008 11:05 AM
To: All criminals
Subject: FREE MONEY!

To whom it may concern,
We would like to inform you of our willingness to FUND YOUR CRIMINAL
ENTERPRISE! We have a ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY when it comes to our
employees attempts to interfere with your personal initiative at
redistribution of wealth. We want to make sure that there's NO
CONFUSION: OUR money is actually YOUR money, and we here at Marathon
Petroleum and SuperAmerica are very sorry that some FORMER employees
hindered your efforts. We will be more than happy to supply legal
services for you - free of charge, naturally - if you should ever wish
to bring legal action against any of our FORMER employees who may have
caused you any pain, anguish, or suffering. Please accept our sincerest
apologies and feel free to return to our stations again whenever you'd
like some more of our - OOPS! - YOUR money!

Sincerely,
The Marathon Petroleum/SuperAmerica Team
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May 19, 2008

Heart-stopper 

Well, fortunately not quite. Check out this Marine from 24 MEU do his best Matrix move.

I'll bet he keeps his flak and kevlar handier next time...
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May 18, 2008

FEAR me 

That's right, you poor little sheep. F@%*ING FEAR ME. At least, that's what Sen Tom Harkin (D-Ass), would have you do.
[His] family background as the son and grandson of [sailors and Marines] has given him a worldview shaped by the military, “and he has a hard time thinking beyond that,” Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Ia., said Friday.

“I think he’s trapped in that,” Harkin said in a conference call with Iowa reporters. “Everything is looked at from his life experiences, from always having been in the military, and I think that can be pretty dangerous.”

Harkin said that “it’s one thing to have been drafted and served, but another thing when you come from generations of military people and that’s just how you’re steeped, how you’ve learned, how you’ve grown up.”
Well, maybe he wasn't talking about me directly. But I'll bet you can guess who he WAS talking about.

But all you mere mortals should fear me anyway. Remember, I'm the only candidate who's promised you a mountain of skulls... And isn't that the kind of cooperative, reaching-across-the-aisle, leader that you've all been waiting for? In fact, here's my latest campaign ad.

But at least I haven't been "sealed away" from the "realities of war". So I've got that going for me... which is nice.

UPDATE: As Larry pointed out in the comments, Tom Harkin's mouth is writing checks that his body had the chance to cash... but didn't.
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May 16, 2008

Wear it anyway 

Graduates attending the commencement ceremony at Bloomer High School May 31 will be required to wear caps and gowns, according to a policy set by the Bloomer School Board Monday night.

Setting that policy appears to be in direct response to a request by one graduate, Daniel Lingen, to wear his Marine Corps dress blue uniform.
...
Daniel Lingen completed his high school program by January, and so was allowed to go directly to the Marine Corps. According to his father, Daniel graduated from the basic training program in a ceremony.

Daniel is still part of the BHS graduating class, though, and when it came time to order his cap and gown, said he didn't want to do so because he wanted to wear his Marine dress blue uniform.
Screw 'em, kid. You're already out. What are they gonna do, send you to detention?

God, I wish this kid was already an NCO so he could show up with the sword. Think of the unholy hell THAT would unleash...

H/t to MM, who points out two more migrane-inspiring stories here.
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May 7, 2008

There it is again 

Heard that sound again today, but I think it was only a test because the all clear sounded almost immediately and I didn't hear any impacts. But - yet again - it was when I was in the chow hall...

I smell a plot...
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Can you hear me now? 

I've dropped a signal on my cellphone just by changing which ear I'm holding it to - and that's back in the States. So I have to wonder which service this soldier in Afghanistan uses, because it damn sure works. Of course, there are times where'd you'd prefer it if the call DIDN'T connect...
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May 5, 2008

An eternal question 

The question that I think most Marines ask when they are awarded something for valor (or for any other reason, I suppose) is "do I deserve it?" Most will staunchly maintain that they were just doing their job. But many times, they are not the best judges of their own worthiness.

One such Staff Sergeant, who was part of my 2005 MEU, was acknowledged for his actions during Operation Steel Curtain. And he posed that very question to another Marine - the reporter.
"Now you tell me; do I deserve it?"

This is a serious question following a sincere conversation, but to understand its weight, you have to understand the context. It's May 15, 2007, and I'm sitting on a metal picnic bench across from Staff Sgt. Logan Cortes. Let's just say his doubt has begun to set in.

Two hours prior, he was presented with the Bronze Star with combat distinguishing device for actions Nov. 16, 2005, during Operation Iraqi Freedom in Anbar province with 2nd Battalion, 1st Marine regiment, then making up the battalion landing team for the 13th Marine Expeditionary Unit (Special Operations Capable).

At this point, the interview is almost over and the story has been laid bare; I have most of the general facts of what happened in New Ubaydi on that day during Operation Steel Curtain.

I'm going over the story again in my mind when Cortes repeats his question.

"Do I deserve it?"

He's talking about the medal. His Bronze Star.

This is a fairly heavy question to pose to a lance corporal who's never seen actual combat.

I think about it, and the evidence, and my reply takes less than two seconds to surface.

Yes. You do, staff sergeant.

And after a short pause, I explain why.
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Apr 30, 2008

My old stomping grounds... 

... twice over: my old unit at my previously deployed location.

The funny part though is that because it's a blogspot site, chances are nine out of ten that it's blocked by the G6 on any of the government computers. Gotta love it. Found it at Dustman's.
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Apr 26, 2008

The Big Dog 

Toby Keith played Baghdad tonight and your truly was there. This finally puts me even with the Wif, who saw him in 2006 in San Diego without me. Now if we could only see a show together!

Of course, this was a favorite. (video is from Fallujah in 2006)



And when you're in a crowd full of folks who would like nothing more than to be back in America, that song means something. But some folks obviously wanted to be here. The female soldier with the prosthetic leg, for instance.

Yeah. You read that right. Saw her after the show on her way out. I don't know how many amputees have been deployed back to the war zone. In fact I think there's only one in the whole Marine Corps, and he had to fight to get back. But there was this soldier. Didn't look like she was more than 21. Maybe a bit older, but not much. Wow.

As fer me? This is the song the Wif called me during when she went because it was "my tune." Yeah, I'll buy that...

Oh, and Toby said the drinks are on him, so now I have a new destination when I get home. Or two. Or three.
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Apr 23, 2008

Never squander an opportunity 

Brilliant. Beyond words. Pure freaking brilliant.
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Apr 22, 2008

A rarity 

"Things I agree with al Qaeda on" is, indeed, a very short list. In fact, I think it only consists of two items: they want to kill me, and they were responsible for 9/11. Zawahiri restates these issues in his latest missive to the West, wherein he gets all worked up about Mahmoud recently declaring - again - that it may have been those eeeevil JOOOOS who brought down the twin towers. I find this quite amusing, considering that we'd like to smoke both of these jackasses, and here they are flinging poo at each other. It would be more amusing however, if The Onion hadn't already done it better.

Twice.

PS- Happy Earth Day. To become more in tune with the Earth, I'm spending today covered in a fine layer of sand... as I travel as quickly as possible between air conditioned spaces that are spewing out greenhouse gasses by the metric shit-ton. Suck it Algore.
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Apr 18, 2008

"That flag means a Marine Corps for another 500 years." 

- Navy Secretary James Forrestal

Which means we'll outlast the Church of Global Warming. By a lot.
Screw you, Time.

- Mike the Marine
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Of chow and mortars 

It was a sound I wasn't used to. And so I froze for a second - a little "deer in the headlights" action - waiting to see what the protocol was. My first response was to head for the exits. I mean, the only thing I was familiar with that was close to the sound I was hearing was a fire alarm. And so - flashing back to being ten years old in school - line up and head for the exits. Right?

Of course, that would be monumentally stupid, which I realized before even a second passed. Why? Because there were shells falling outside... somewhere. Which the "big voice" on the PA system made abundantly clear, when - in between the whooping, dive klaxon-like sound I was hearing - it stated quite clearly, "Incoming. Incoming."

The only time I had previously been exposed to falling artillery of some type, it was over before it began. In October of 2005 during Ramadan, I had been sitting at a desk inside a building on Al Asad airbase in Al Anbar province, when I heard a loud thump. There were Marines outside at the time building stuff and moving pallets and I figured it was 50/50 that they had dropped something heavy on the concrete or we had just taken some rockets pretty far off (rockets being Hajji's preferred method of shelling Al Asad because he has to shoot from so far away and there are no close population centers for him to hide in). The air raid siren went off after the two rounds landed, and no more came in. So - truly - it was over before it started.

But now I was hearing warnings BEFORE thumps. This was something new. I guess that means the radars work. So there I am in the dining facility, and everyone lies down on the floor. It's sort of silly I guess - I mean the building has a reinforced roof and is completely ringed by concrete barricades. The only way anyone's taking a hit is if the building gets hit directly - and by something rather large, I'd imagine. But down to the floor I go. The thought does briefly cross my mind how crappy it's going to be to meet my end here, next to the taco bar, on the floor of a chow hall in Baghdad. And then, a couple thumps a descent distance away, and the "all clear" sounds. Everyone gets up, a few sheepish looks are exchanged, but more smiles than anything else. That wasn't even close. Heard it more than felt it.

Easier to set up, take down, and aim (and hide) than rockets, mortars are the "shoot and scoot" weapon of choice in urban areas. Mount a tube on a vehicle and now it's even easier. So that's what comes in around here mostly. And then, Hajji melts away into the the city. He's done his bit for the jihad for the day, whether he hit anything other than dirt or not. And because he's in the city, it's a hell of a lot less dangerous for him than shooting those rockets from the middle of nowhere.

Regardless of what Zawahiri says, your average Muslim warrior is not so hot on meeting his 72 virgins right away (you'll notice ol' Zawahiri himself doesn't seem to be in any kind of a rush). No, he'd rather do his thing as safely as possible and then go back home. When those rockets came in at Al Asad in '05, the shooters had the bad luck to do their thing right when two Harriers were on station. Even though they got away, the couple hundred rounds of 25mm that chased them down the river that night obviously had an effect - we didn't take any more rounds out there for the next three months.

I heard that sound again tonight, and realized it actually reminds me more of the ship's alarms from when I was on float, which they tested constantly. Either a collision alert or an NBC attack warning - I can't remember exactly which. This time I knew what to do: take another bite of ice cream, then get under the table. Hey, the system seems to give you a pretty descent head's up. Heard it more than felt it. But felt it more than last time...

Maybe they know when I'm at chow.
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Apr 12, 2008

Greetings from Sunni Baghdad! 

I landed under the same amount of sniper fire as Hillary, and all I got was this lousy blog post.

Heh.
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Apr 9, 2008

You ain't in Berkely, toots 

Your smile of the day is located here. Enjoy.

Tough crap, Droopy.
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Every Marine a collector 

That was the phrase once upon a time that meant "keep your eyes open because ANYTHING could be intel." I think it's been changed recently - to what I'm not sure. I've heard the Doggies say "every soldier a sensor"... same principle. In that vein, I, your intrepid host - still stuck in Qatar after almost a week, mind you - noted the following... which was noted first by a Zoomie and then ended up in Stars and Stripes. In any case, I passed it to the proper authorities.

Anyway, once I make it to Toshi Station and pick up those power converters, I'll get back to ya...
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Apr 3, 2008

Back in Black to Iraq 



OIF v2.0 starts tomorrow. Going solo this time as an individual augment, so this is going to be a whole different animal than the trip I took with the MEU. Just be a couple months. Don't know how much posting will come from it, but I will of course try. See ya when I see ya.

One more from the Thunder from Down Under. Maybe more appropriate? Heh.
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Mar 30, 2008

Yes, it's stupid 

I don't know if it's the chance to watch a little kid all the time now, or just my off kilter sense of humor or what, but I recently came across icanhascheezburger and it cracks me up. I've been checking it out at least twice a week these days. And this one killed me.

funny pictures

Yeah, I read a website full of fluffy critters. I'd feel ashamed if it weren't so damned funny.
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Mar 29, 2008

Glamour Shots 

Check out the photos linked at this story, courtesy of the Associated (w/terrorists) Press.

Interesting how the press suddenly regains interest in Iraq when shooting starts, not when shooting stops. More interesting is how every picture seems to be of Mookie's boys, the Mahdi Militia, down in Basra and not a one of Iraqi Army or Police (unless they're prisoners of the Militia). And in none of these pictures are Mookie's boys in a fight. In other words, these are pure, unadulterated, unabashed propaganda. My favorites are pics 17, 18, & 19, wherein these guys do their best impression of Pallywood, sighting in on nothing, while the photog captures their lion-hearted spirit with some sweet low-angle shots. Gimme a break.

Anybody want to listen for the tumbleweed blowing across the press room after Mookie's boys get their asses handed to them by US, UK, and Iraqi Army forces in the next two weeks? You probably won't hear it, but it'll be notable by it's absence.
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