Feb 28, 2005

My life is complete 

The complete Calvin and Hobbes.

This will have permanent residence on the sidebar when I get around to updating my template.

Hat tip to the blogfather, who got it from this guy.

Feb 27, 2005

Movie review 

This is an idea that I've been toying with for some time: a periodic review of military films. So, this will be the first entry in what may (or may not) prove to be a regular feature at "From the Halls to the Shores."

I just watched "Gung Ho!", a film from 1943 about Carlson's Raiders. It's jingoistic. It's cheesy. It's absolutely the worst of WWII war-time Hollywood.

I loved every minute of it.

From the very beginning, when the Marines are applying for entry to the battalion and being asked why they want to join, and one Marine's answer is "I just don't like Japs," this film is a classic. It is a WWII film produced DURING WWII, and it makes no bones about who the enemy is. It dehumanizes them. It makes it seem as if they are less than men. And most importantly, it builds a little rage.

And this is just what may be needed today.

This is just me talking. This is nobody's policy, especially not the US government's. But I think it's high time we started calling a spade a spade, and call our current enemies what they are: Murderers. Animals. Inhuman.

I DO NOT mean people of the Islamic faith. That has NOTHING to do with it. A person's belief in Allah and their love of peace and freedom ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE. This we know.

What I mean are people... no... pigs... who do not fight as men. Who do not respect life. Who regard all manner of humanity that does not agree with their narrow view of the world as being less that themselves.

These are the ones who need to be the focus of our wrath. These are the ones who do not deserve even the soft treatment we give them at places like Gitmo (even though we will continue to do so - rightfully so - and I don't care what accusations are made, the chance to pray to Mecca five times plus three square meals a day equals pretty cush treatment in my book). These are people beings who mean to destroy the ones we love.

It's about time Hollywood pulled it's head out of it's ass and made some movies that got people's head's right. The upcoming movie about Fallujah has that potential, but I fear that it may drop the ball - especially considering that Harrison Ford is slated to play General Mattis, and the General's recent comments may not play so well with the Hollywood crowd.

Regardless of all that, "Gung Ho!" is a film for the ages. It lets us see what America saw during a time of crisis sixty years ago. It clues us into the mindset required to win a war. And it lets us know just how far the Hollywood elites have removed themselves from their country in the sixty years since.

"Gung Ho!," from 1943 stars Randolph Scott and Robert Mitchum and may be purchased on a multitude of different DVD's here, here, and here.

Feb 24, 2005

Iwo Jima footage... 

is located at Military.com

If you don't have an account, do yourself a favor and get one - if for no other reason than to see this Quicktime clip of the flag going up on Suribachi (in color, no less).

More good video clips located here.

Feb 23, 2005

Sixty years ago today... 

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Check out Blackfive for some great Iwo posts, as well as a look at the forgotten actions of some of his airborne (hooah) forerunners on this day sixty years ago. And here's me from last year.

Pictures courtesy www.iwojima.com

Feb 15, 2005

Hoax kidnapper admits tomfoolery 

... but still no word on whether he'll actually release Cody, the 12 inch tall Spec Ops Warrior. Barbie promised a stack of Monopoly money for his safe return, but I digress...

In a related story, the all jazz Al-Jazeera propaganda department News Service has yet to tell it's readers that Cody is made from plastic. Maybe Eason Jordan can get himself a job with those folks, but I doubt it. I'm sure they want to keep their credibility level higher than the likes of CNN and CBS.

Feb 12, 2005

A date which will live in infamy 

On this date, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by forces of comedy so strong, we all run the risk of soiling ourselves between fits of laughter.


Beware the foe's heat-seeking Yeeeaaarrrggghhhhh!!!! All my wildest dreams have come true...

Feb 8, 2005

Strengthening the American gene pool... 

...or, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

To quote Dave Barry, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

NY TIMES - Some Bush Foes Vote Yet Again, With Their Feet: Canada or Bust


I'm not going to go line by line through this article and trounce the whole thing. I can't do it in good conscience. While I applaud the thought of the weaker threads in the American fabric yanking themselves out of the quilt and thereby increasing the end-strength of the remaining US gene pool, I am utterly shocked that the average, everyday American citizen would be so distraught over one election as to forsake their country and take up residence in Canada.

Nothin' wrong with Canada. Matter of fact, every Canadian I've met has said that they've toyed with the idea of moving to America. This was some years ago, before the current unpleasantness... but I digress...

Fact is, if you do not possess the intestinal fortitude to gut out four more years of a President you hate, then please - by all means - hit the road. I won't stop ya. I might even spring for cab fare.

I didn't bail on this country, this NATION, land of the free and home of the brave, when a certain previous IMPEACHED President was in office. No sir. I went and joined Mother Green's Killing Machine, and consoled myself with the fact that he wasn't king for life. He was the President, he would be gone 4 years hence, and regardless of what I personally thought of the man, he was the goddammed Commander in Chief. Dislike him though I may, I would respect his Office (possibly more than he did.)

And so, I cry not a single tear for the people that can't hack it here in the good ol' U S of A anymore. I can only shake my head in wonder as they go. Wonder at how they came to this conclusion. Wonder at how they think this will improve their lives. And most importantly, wonder at how they ever managed to get by here in the first place.

We are a country founded by mountain men, cowboys, and miners. People who tilled soil, froze at Valley Forge, and climbed the Rockies just to check out the view. Was a time when we didn't suffer fools. What the hell happened?

How did this country so manage to peg out the wuss meter in such a short period of time? It really isn't that long ago that Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett walked these lands, when you think of it. And now we've got other people walking the land... walking out.

So, GOODBYE to those folks who don't pack the gear to be Americans anymore. Wish I could say that we'll miss you, but we won't. Maybe with your chromosomes gone, it'll decrease the number of generations it'll take for another Boone or Crockett to grace us with his presence.

But that's not really fair. Folks like that still exist here in America. They always have and they always will. And they STICK AROUND, no matter what.

Lean forward and choke yourself 

This just in from the Department of People Who Need to Have Their Head Placed in a Vise Grip. We are a lawsuit-happy country, and it's really starting to make me think that some folks out there are oxygen bandits. You know... stealing perfectly good air from the rest of us so that their lungs can continue to supply O2 to the heart, when it's clear that the brain is freaking DEAD.
Durango - Two teenage girls decided one summer's evening to skip a dance where there might be cursing and drinking to stay home and bake cookies for their neighbors.

Big mistake.

Inside one of the nine scattered rural homes south of Durango that got cookies that night, a 49-year-old woman became so terrified by the knocks on her door around 10:30 p.m. that she called the sheriff's department. Deputies determined that no crime had been committed.

But Wanita Renea Young ended up in the hospital emergency room the next day after suffering a severe anxiety attack she thought might be a heart attack.

A Durango judge Thursday awarded Young almost $900 to recoup her medical bills. She received nothing for pain and suffering.
That's right. These two girls got sued because they wanted to foster a little community relations and bring some cookies to the witch woman next door.

It's times like this where I wish Gunny Ermey did housecalls.

Hat tip to Incoherant Ramblings

Feb 3, 2005

The island of misfit toys Jihadis, Version 2.0 

The insurgent hostage toy story has gone into high spool. Lord, how I wish I'd written this.
Firecrackers sizzled and roared around us in a symphony of extremity-disintegrating horror. Mean little kids stomped us with the hard soles of their brand-new Keds -- weapons of mass destruction. And the gentlest one of us all lost it completely. "Elmo is thinking about genocide!" he screamed, as he unleashed a hail of foam darts upon our adversaries. "Elmo is Death, destroyer of worlds!" War does awful things to toys.
And it just gets funnier from there.

This is why we are going to win this war, if for no other reason: we have a sense of humor that our enemy completely lacks. No bastard ever won a war without cracking a smile at some point...

Callin' it like it is 

Lt. Gen. James Mattis, a career infantry officer who is now in charge of developing better ways to train and equip Marines, made the comments Tuesday while speaking to a forum in San Diego.

According to an audio recording, he said, "Actually, it's a lot of fun to fight. You know, it's a hell of a hoot. ... It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right upfront with you, I like brawling."

He added, "You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."
The Main Stream Media outlets are already pissing their diapers over this one. If it has happened already and I missed it, I wouldn't be shocked, but I give this 24 hours before somebody says this is "As bad as abu Gharib." I just heard somebody on the radio say this will only enrage arabs even more against America.

Even more? Jeez, how pissed off can they get? I figured they had the meter pegged by now.

Besides, he's a Marine. What the hell did you expect him to say? That he wanted to invite these guys over for tea, scones, and backrubs? Hasn't the MSM cracked the code by now that Marines kill people and break things? That's part of the job description, after all.

His foot goes into his mouth… 

While my foot goes into his ass.

Charlie Rangel (D-ASS) has proved once again that his cheese-grater-across- a-blackboard voice is not the most irritating thing about him. The Representative from New York, who is the actual architect of the latest proposal for a military draft (you remember… the one that all the moonbats are screeching at the President about?) proceeded to take the occasion of the State of the Union to make yet another proposal.

He proposed that he be placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds for being an idiot – pretty standard really.

While members of a certain political party (that shall remain nameless) expressed support for Iraqi voters, Charlie unleashed a classic “But-Monkey” (to steal a phrase from Laura Ingraham).

See if you can spot it.
The wave of purple fingers, raised by dozens of House Republicans Nameless Political Party, was organized by Rep. Bobby Jindal, R-La. NPP-La., to demonstrate solidarity with Iraqi voters. In a letter to fellow lawmakers, Jindal said he wanted to display support for "people throughout the world who seek freedom."

Even as they celebrated the vote, a few Democrats questioned the price paid by American soldiers to win Iraq's freedom.
"We all applaud the Iraqi people for their elections, but Americans want to know if all that death and destruction was necessary to bring about elections or if there could have been free elections — as the Palestinians had — without such costs?" asked Rep. Charles Rangel, D-N.Y.

Charlie is possibly inhaling some sort of controlled substance, because his hallucinations are fascinating. No death and destruction was part of the Palestinian ‘political process,’ eh?

WHAT KIND OF CHEEBA ARE YOU PUFFIN’ ON, CHARLIE? Cuz that’s some quality shite. Makes all the dead Israelis for the past 50 years just vanish like a fart in the wind. Gotta get me some-a that...

The only positive part of this whole story is that Charlie is solidly embedded up to his ankle in his mouth, making it impossible for him to use that sandpaper-scrubbed, gravel-gargling rasp of his.

Feb 2, 2005

The island of misfit toys Jihadis 

Behold a horrific scene:

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The dirty mokey-felching Jihadis have taken one of our fine soldiers hostage and are demanding the release of some of their worthless ilk, or they'll kill him.

Only problem is this:

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They kidnapped a GI Joe.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...

I recommend a strong and immediate response. We need to have the Green Berets Army Men on call to do a takedown once we have actionfigure actionable intelligence.

I want the USS George Washington Rubber Ducky ready to launch a full complement of SuperHornets paper airplanes loaded with Maverick Nerf missiles.

And for GOD'S SAKE, somebody call up Mini Ermey!

This one just takes the cake, people. Somebody either hacked a terrorist website and spoofed 'em... HARD. OR - and this is not unlikely - these guys are actually THAT DUMB.

You see, when you take the time to make a video demanding the release of a buch of your buddies, it helps if you have a bargaining chip. An action figure ain't cuttin' it.

What kills me is that somebody took the time to make a little flag to hang in the background.
Isn't it pwecious?

Did they think that his total lack of expression wouldn't be a little obvious? Did they think it wouldn't seem odd to us that he's the only prisoner in history to be captive and STILL have a vest on that looks like it's holding either flashbangs, smoke, or thermite grenades?

Oh how I'd LOVE to see the DoD send a response.

Take an Osama bin-Laden doll and throw it into the pigpen on the Fisher-Price Farm.

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Then have a voice over of Osama claiming that martyrdom is the highest form of Jihad, stick an M-80 up his ass, and send him to his 72 Barbies.

And I'm not the only one who thinks this requires a swift response.

Any other ideas on how we should take it to the bastards?

And yes, the 1st Plastic Head Melting Brigade, 3rd Mobile Magnifying Glass Division has already been put on full alert. They'll jump in at dawn. Sadly, their weapons will be completely ineffective until around noon...

UPDATE: Frank J. points out the fact that the abduction is quite obviously George Bush's fault... at least Democratic Underground thinks so. You'll have to go to IMAO to get Frank's link to the shenanigans at DU. I refuse to link to those people...

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