Feb 27, 2004


Ever since Dana at Note-It Posts busted out with "I Love this Bar", I've wanted to do this. Jeff did this with some Johnny Cash, as well (or Hank Snow, if you really want to get into the old country music vault). And being as my Wif (pronounced WEEF) left me to go on vacation and visit one of her friends in Japan (that's right ladies... I'm hitched... sorry), I've had plenty of time on my hands. So, I give you all "Mekong."

This is a song by the now defunct "Refreshments" off of their Fizzy Fuzzy Big and Buzzy album. I shit you not - this is one of the greatest records of all time. It was written as the end result of a drunken binge in Mexico when the lead singer broke up with his girlfriend, if that tells you anything...

You know these guys. The song "Banditos" ring a bell? "Give your ID card to the border guard. Now your alias says you're Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets, cuz he won't speak english anyway..." Well, this is probably my favorite song off that album (from front to back it's one of the best rock records ever. Period).

I have searched in vein for hours trying to find a copy of this online. The Amazon.com link above will give you a snippet of it. If you have a file-sharing program that you can download it from, I strongly recommend that you go get this song.

I didn't know what a Mekong was for years. I assumed from the context of the song that it was booze. I was right. My buddy Nikoms cleared that up for me in the comments to my "Mojo" post. After the six Tecates and Red Stripes I just had, plus the two Captain Morgan and cokes I'm taking care of, a Mekong sounds pretty good right about now.

I now present... Mekong.

Barkeep, another Mekong please
Yes of course you can keep the change
A new glass here for this new friend of mine
Forgive me I forgot your name
Flip a coin, what shall we talk about
Heads I tell the truth and tails I lie

Well, I came all the way from Taipei today
Now Bangkok's pourin' rain and I'm goin' blind again
and I haven't seen my girl for fifteen thousand miles

Well is it true it's always happy hour here?
And if it is, I'd like to stay awhile
Well as cliche'd as it may sound, I'd like to raise another round
And if your bottle’s empty help yourself to mine
Thank you for your time, and here's to life

Barkeep, we need to go around again
One for me and what's his name, my new best friend
so deal me in, and I'll pick my cards up off the floor
I'll see your lucky coin and raise a pack of lies
So smile to the girl at the door, another 4 dollar whore
But don't look her in the eye, she'll break your heart

We came all the way from Taipei today
Still Bangkok's pissin' rain and we're goin' blind again
and I haven't seen my girl, for fifteen thousand miles

Well is it true it's always happy hour here?
And if it is, I'd like to stay awhile
Well as cliche'd as it may sound, I'd like to raise another round
And if your bottle’s empty help yourself to mine
Thank you for your time, and here's to life

Well is it true it's always happy hour here?
And if it is, I'd like to stay awhile
Well as cliche'd as it may sound, I'd like to raise another round
And if your bottle’s empty help yourself to mine
Thank you for your time

Well as cliche'd as it may sound, I'd like to raise another round
And if your bottle’s empty help yourself to mine
Thank you for your time, and here's to life

Here's to life
Here's to life
Here's to life… again

Feb 26, 2004

What kind of a slackass are you? 

Good God, man. Even Blogspot has permalinks. Drop the extra ZERO DOLLARS and get yourself some, Libbo.

That's right, lagmonkey's Libbo - I'm talking to YOU.

Do you just expect everyone to click this link and then scroll down to the 24 February entry entitled "The Nefarious William Hung Must Be Stopped Before It Is Too Late!"? Do you really think they'll take the time to hear about how the pickled essence of John Wayne's Sgt Striker, who is being kept in a jar in the Pentagon, gave telepathic orders to Major Payne and Mini Ermey to go square away the WORST contestant of the WORST reality show ever, American Idol?

Do you think they'll want more of THIS?:

Hung/Hitler: What is this? Two more simple minded Americans come to bask in the glory of my utterly retarded dance moves accompanied by my off key singing?

Major Payne: What are you looking at ass-eyes?

Hung/Hitler: Wait! You are not typical slack jawed college hippies!

Little Ermey: What's your major malfunction numbnuts?!?!

Hung/Hitler: Stay away from me! Don't force me to use my goofy yet totally evil mind controlling hypnotic crossed eyed powers to make you feel sympathy for me!

Major Payne: Let me tell you something - war has made me very PARANOID and when someone gets to eye-balling me it makes my Agent Orange act up and I get the urge to KILL!
Well? Do you? Do you think they'll want to read it? HMMMMM?

Feb 25, 2004

Who needs to be original? 

Okay, so I'm doing a lot of referring and stealing ideas lately, but this is just too good to pass up.

Vote VADER 2004

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

hat tip RNS

Feb 24, 2004

Well ain't that the damndest thing... 

What did you do in the war, daddy?

Short and interesting post on how assignments get divvied up in the military, from Mostly Cajun.

found via Indigo

Keeping the RIAA on their toes 

In keeping with this post's title, regarding "stealing" music, this is an idea I "stole" from Jim, who himself "stole" it from some other folks. Let's hit shuffle on Mike the Marine's ol' 'puter sound library and see what comes up.

By the way, the original idea was to post the first 10 songs. I'm bustin' out 20.

PS - Metallica, I BOUGHT your cd's then put them on the computer. I DID NOT "illegally" download them. The other music... I can neither confirm nor deny where it may have come from...

1. 2Pac - Until the End of Time
2. George Thorogood - 1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, 1 Beer
3. Guns N' Roses - Nightrain
4. 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite
5. Candlebox - Far Behind
6. Metallica - Wherever I May Roam
7. Metallica - Seek and Destroy
8. AC/DC - Satellite Blues
9. Johnny Cash - Boy Named Sue
10. Metallica - No Leaf Clover
11. AC/DC - Dog Eat Dog
12. Metallica - Whiskey In the Jar
13. Lit - Over My Head
14. Bon Jovi - Livin' On a Prayer
15. Everclear - Santa Monica
16. Blacksheep - This or That
17. Pantera - Walk
18. John Fogerty - Centerfield
19. Offspring - Gone Away
20. The Animals - House of the Rising Sun

Pretty decent shifting of gears between each song in 15-20, eh? And on a final note, here is something you can't understand...

21. Rage Against the Machine - How I Could Just Kill A Man

So I'm a headbanger... so sue me.

Feb 22, 2004

As to my previous post... 


It seems Pixy Misa, King of the Munuvian Empire, was tinkering around in Willie's backroom and broke something. So it would seem Willie is back still in business.

Whatever dude. All I know is this: I only do that blubbery "goodbye" B.S. ONCE. So now, whenever you finally do go off the air Bartender, I ain't sayin' a damn thing.

An Animal House no more... 

"They took the bar! The whole f**king bar!!"

Madfish Willie, Bartender to the Stars, has apparently pulled the plug. As you'll notice on the sidebar, my Corner of the Bar Gang Logo is conspicuous by it's absence. After he disappeared a couple days ago, his comments section turned into an online party with around 90 entries. He then returned just long enough to tell us all to get the hell out and that the demolition crew was probably going to show up in the morning. And now the bar is no more.

He alluded to doing something more sports oriented in the future... an online Sports Bar maybe? If he has off-track betting, I'm there.

Anyway, so long Bartender. It definitely was fun while it lasted. Come back and let us know if you decide to start another venture, you booze hound, you.

Feb 19, 2004

“Among the men who fought on Iwo Jima, 

uncommon valor was a common virtue.”
- Fleet Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, USN, 16 March 1945

The Marine's Hymn

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It started today… 59 years ago. Four days later, the image that will forever come to mind when the word Marine is spoken - the most reproduced photograph in history - was captured by the camera of Joe Rosenthal.

“The raising of that flag on Suribachi means a Marine Corps for the next 500 years.”
- James Forrestal, Secretary of the Navy, 23 February 1945

I have spoken before of Iwo Jima, comparing that one battle so many years ago to the ENTIRE war that we fight today. But at this moment, the only comparison that interests me is of the Marine of then to the Marine of now. And do you know what the difference is?


The word Marine means pride, skill, determination, leadership. It means a life spent dedicated to something larger than yourself. It means something that precious few outside its ranks will ever understand, and will never be able to fully appreciate.

The technology has improved, the training has changed, and there will always and forever be those who think it was better in “the OLD Corps.” But we are still America’s premiere fighting force.

Even our biggest business competitor, the US Army, will agree. Just look at them. In the last 5 years, they’ve made drastic strides to plan like we plan, train like we train, and fight like we fight. If you want to see what the defenders of America look like – you look at a Marine.

On this day, 59 years ago, Marines went into combat and many never returned. Today, Marines are once again going into combat. Not the constant chatter of machine guns and thunder of howitzers kind of combat. The kind of combat that looks peaceful, and then blows up all around you. And again, some will not return.

I know today’s Marines going to Iraq. Many are acquaintances. Some are good friends. Two are family.

I knew the Marines of Iwo Jima, as well. None were acquaintances. None were friends. ALL were family.

Semper Fi.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
music courtesy of militarysounds.com

click this link for video of today's Navy/Marine team, courtesy of this site

On Dead Frenchmen and Marriage 

It seems that the New York Times has finally caught wind of something that was all over web news and blogs over a week ago. I'd like to think they found it through ME, but....

A Love That Transcends Death Is Blessed by the State

You know who we have to blame for this? de Gaulle. Why am I not surprised....

However, in a rare fit of sanity (and it pains me to use the word "sanity" in regards to this, but I digress), the French wrote up this "marrying dead people law" to include the following safeguard:

...to avoid abuses, the 1959 law bars such spouses from any inheritance as a result of their weddings. Posthumous nuptials can play a practical role if the woman left behind is pregnant, though, because children born after their father's death are considered heirs.
But the authorities are vigilant in preventing the law's exploitation. In one case a woman impregnated herself with her late boyfriend's sperm, only to have her request for marriage denied.
What an odd land. Just ask Jeff of Big Stick all about it. He's over there right now.

Ya like how I worked ya in there, Jeff?

Feb 17, 2004

When Space Monkeys Attack 

The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles first pointed out this morning that President Bush has been undeniably linked to AOL. The POTUS was quoted as saying, "I was drawn in by AOL's cool commercials involving the cast of West Coast Choppers. Watching those guys argue and build custom choppers is great fun."

I immediately noted in the comments that the guys over at Orange County Choppers are the stars of "American Chopper," and that Bush is OBVIOUSLY lying again. John Kerry then called out the President on the "Choppergate" scandal.

Just go read it. Permalinks ain't cuttin' it, but just look for the Feb 17 posts (which are still up top at the time of this writing).

Further proof that you can buy ANYTHING online 

Got an extra million bucks, just lying around?

Navy Jet Fighter Is for Sale on EBay

A couple posts down, you'll find my rant about the "tank" that was up for grabs on eBay, but now we're playin' with the BIG boys.

Here's the link to the eBay sale, and the text of the auction in case they pull it down:

Winning bid: US $99,999,999.00
Ended: Feb-17-04 01:43:32 PST
History: 264 bids (US $1,050,000.00 starting bid)
Winning bidder: hockeymann2( 16)

Location: LANDA AND ASSOCIATES 360-474-8991
United States /Seattle-Tacoma

The only F/A-18A in private ownership in the world.

This former Navy Blue Angel jet, was number 131 off the line, it has 3793 TT Total Airframe hours. 2 Engines are GE F404-GE-400 with 0 Zero time, and one spare parts engine.

Aircraft is apart only for transporting purposes and needs to be gone through and re-assembled. Everything to assemble we have. It has not flown in a few years and is stored in california.

It has an N number.

This aircraft was never demilled, "not cut ever".

Complete with extras including bomb racks, drop tanks and pylons.

The current owner will assemble aircraft making it airworthy, with your choice of paint for 9Million Guaranteed, with a lease back offer paying all maintance, parts, fuel, and an hourly rate to its new owner. Was Number 1 and Number 5. Serial number:161973---Lot #6----Block # 13---Don't miss out on this one!






Blue Angel for sale Navy plane shows up on eBay Nicole Lozare @PensacolaNewsJournal.com After almost 50,000 hits in two days, no one is buying what Mike Landa is selling on eBay. Everyone just wants to know how he acquired the Navy Blue Angels' F/A-18 Hornet. Landa and Associates of Washington state is selling the jet for $1,050,000 - some assembly required. It's a bargain compared to the jet's usual $18 million price tag. A former Blue Angel F-18 Hornet is for sale on ebay. Click here to view the sale. "It has been acquired legitimately," said Landa, who said he was visited by the FBI on Tuesday, a day after he posted the jet on the popular Internet auction site. Landa, an aircraft and telecommunications broker, is keeping a tight lip on the owner's identity. He met the owner in California while purchasing airplane parts. Wednesday afternoon, Blue Angels spokesman Mike Blankenship confirmed the aircraft's heritage. "According to the bureau number, it was a Blue Angels plane flown in the early '90s," said Blankenship, who has no clue how Landa acquired it. "It was stricken from the Navy's inventory in 1994." According to the Department of Defense, the Navy's planes are not usually sold to private citizens. When an aircraft is retired, officials determine if it should be kept for wartime reserves. If the aircraft doesn't pass muster, it is demilitarized - military insignia and sensitive equipment, such as ejection seats, are removed. The aircraft is then sent to a boneyard. "The Navy has programs where this aircraft is leased to museums," said department spokesman Lt. Cmdr. Cappy Surette. "Occasionally, it can be sold to third parties on a case-by-case basis. But Navy policy prohibits reselling of these aircrafts." The official word on eBay's Blue Angels jet? "We are aware, and the matter is being looked into," Surette said. Officials at the National Museum of Naval Aviation had the same response. Landa's eBay site claims the aircraft was "never demilled, not cut ever," and comes with bomb racks, drop tanks and pylons. The aircraft, which has not been flown in years, is stored in California. Landa said there must have been "a screw up" for the owner to acquire a demilitarized aircraft. He is optimistic that a buyer will step up _ probably a private collector who he hopes to talk into leasing the aircraft back to the government for some photography work. Landa has a pretty clean eBay record. A member since 1998, he has a 97.3 percent positive feedback from more than 400 buyers. But the Blue Angels jet is just small potatoes. Landa is also selling a new aircraft "that climbs straight up" for $10 million.
It might be cool to display on your front lawn, and you might even have a blast flying it once or twice, but the maintenance costs will kick your ass. And do you know how much work it takes to keep a jet flying? Hoo-boy. Somebody better like turnin' wrenches...

hat tip to Technicalities who herself hat tipped Slashdot

UPDATE: Approximately 15 minutes after posting this, eBay pulled down the auction. Now, aren't you glad I copied it for ya?

Feb 15, 2004

Now how the hell did THAT happen? 

Well chalk up one for MSNBC. They finally managed to string together a collection of thoughts that isn't completely asinine. Well, at least the author of the piece,Michael Moran did. MSNBC probably ran it because they don't get it.

“You look at the Air Force and the number of medals it’s giving out, and then you look at the Marines, who still apply reasonable standards,” grumbles Hackworth. You can’t tell me that these Air Force guys have seen more blood and fire than the Marines who fought their way all the way to Baghdad.”

"Thank God for the Marines," says a retired Navy officer. "They haven't changed their uniforms or their world view in 50 years. Why should they change the way they hand out medals?"
The debate over the awarding of medals and honors has raged for decades. Some of it is interservice BS, but a lot of it is valid. How do two guys get awarded the same medal when one pulled his wounded buddies out of a burning tank, and all the other one did was sign the documents that sent the tank there in the first place? I don't know, but stuff like that happens all the time. I personally have seen a guy get a Navy Commendation Medal for planning the Marine Corps Birthday Ball, while two other guys were denied a Navy-Marine Corps Medal for saving a little girl from being run over in traffic.*

In everyone's defense, none of those guys sought or cared for the awards, they were just doing what Marines do. But, it proves the point that acts of officework witnessed by many seem to carry more weight than acts of heroism witnessed by few. And REMF's who know what they're doing can get themselves a stack of awards, while trigger-pullers out doing their jobs get zip.

Personally, I don't want any awards for anything I do. Buy me a fifth of Johnny Walker Black after it's all said and done, and we'll call it even. Among the reasons that I hate Osama (and this one is low on the list, but still ON the list) is he screwed up my uniform. That's right - before him, all I had to put on was my shooting badges. Now I have to waste time with the damn National Defense ribbon they gave to everybody after September 11. I can NEVER get the thing on there right on the first try. And then if it's a big event, I have to wear the MEDAL, and the backing for it is even harder to make work right, especially when trying to get it through the thick fabric of my dress blues. Those are minutes I'll never get back!

All kidding aside though, this is a sore point with many and probably always will be. Like I've showed, even the Corps screws this up (much less so than others, but still...) and somewhere right now, somebody who knows the system is generating the paperwork to get himself a Bronze Star, while somebody much more deserving who couldn't give a crap about it, goes unrecognized. It's just a shame, that's all.

found at Better Living Through Blogging

* = The Navy Commendation Medal (now the Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal) can be awarded for acts of heroism, meritorious achievement, or meritorious service. The above case would fall under Meritorious Achievement, where "The achievement should be such as to constitute a definite contribution to the naval service, such as an invention or improvement in design, procedure or organization." Planning a Ball? Hmmm..........

The Navy and Marine Corps Medal "may be awarded to service members who, while serving in any capacity with the Navy or Marine Corps, distinguish themselves by heroism not involving actual conflict with an enemy. For acts of lifesaving, or attempted lifesaving, it is required that the action be performed at the risk of one's own life." Of the two Marines who saved that little girl, at the very least the one who actually dove and snatched her out of the path of an oncoming vehicle met the criteria.

Feb 13, 2004

Born to fight, trained to kill, 

ready to die, but never will.

"The American Marines are terribly reckless fellows...
they would make very good storm troopers."

- Unidentified German officer at Belleau Wood, WWI


lifted from -- Famous Marine Corps Quotes --


Feb 11, 2004

The Sermon on the Soapbox 

Allow me to climb to the top of my box of "Anti-Hippie" and dispense a little knowledge to the unwashed civilian masses.

THIS is a tank.

THIS in not.



Any questions? Good. Because some folks still don't get it.

Army tank confiscated in online auction

Sounds cool, right? Not so much...

BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- German police seized a 10-ton armored personnel carrier that two men had put up for auction online, authorities said on Tuesday.

"The men bought the tank from the Greek army and brought it to Germany. They were evidently looking to turn a profit," said a police spokesman in the state of Hesse.

The 24.5 foot long amphibious Russian BTR 60, found in the town of Raunheim, no longer had guns but was still fully armor-plated, which meant it contravened German law.

The Greek and German owners had to breach the armor to render it useless for combat and then proceeded with the sale, fetching $11,000, but are being investigated for possibly violating weapons laws.

The tank can be driven on German roads with a proper permit.

Gotta punch up those headlines so that we can make people think that some wacko is trying to drive a tank through the city streets like that nut job in San Diego did in '95. Otherwise it might be, ya know... a NON-STORY. I mean, I don't expect everybody to know this, but I do expect that the chuckleheads reporting it would look this stuff up first. Oh, wait... it's Reuters... nevermind.

Most people who don't have even the foggiest idea of what a tank looks like know that it has tracks. But a BTR-60 doesn't even fit into THAT category - it's a WHEELED VEHICLE fer crissake! And here's another clue: it should have a BIG FREAKIN' GUN to be a tank. Oops. Didn't meet that requirement either.

And explain this to me: if they took off all the weapons, and breached the armor so that it would be worthless in combat, then how are these guys being "investigated for possibly violating weapons laws"? THERE ARE NO WEAPONS INVOLVED! But it's still street legal if all the paperwork is filled out correctly..... hmmmmm.....

This is Germany. You know... the place that invented the Superhighway for the purposes of moving an army of tanks around. And now you can't drive a heavy, de-militarized, wheeled vehicle because somebody incorrectly thinks it's a tank? Gain a clue.

Here endeth my rant. Visiting hippies are invited to step forward and use the contents of my soapbox at their own peril...

Only the French... 

You gotta be freakin' kiddin' me...

Woman marries dead boyfriend

A 35-year-old Frenchwoman became both bride and widow when she married her dead boyfriend, in an exchange of vows that required authorisation from the French president.
According to French law, a marriage between a living person and a dead person can take place as long as preliminary civic formalities have been completed that show the couple had planned to marry. Before the ceremony can take place, it must be approved by the French president.

I don't know which is weirder: the fact that some loon actually married a dead man, or that the Prez had to okay it. Why stop there France? Shouldn't all the realllly big decisions like that be made by the UN or something?

hat tip to Bronson

Feb 9, 2004


From Hogs Den

A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman, and a Marine got into an argument about which service was "the best". The arguing became so heated the four servicemen failed to see an oncoming truck. They were run over by the truck and killed instantly. Soon the four servicemen found themselves at the Pearly Gates of Heaven. There, they met Saint Peter and decided that only he could be the ultimate source of truth and honesty. So, the four servicemen asked him, "Saint Peter, which branch of the United States Armed Forces is the best?" Saint Peter replied, "I can't answer that. However, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him. Meanwhile, thank you for your service on Earth and welcome to Heaven." Some time later the four servicemen see Saint Peter and remind him of the question they had asked when first entering Heaven. The four servicemen asked Saint Peter if he was able to find the answer. Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on Saint Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note glistening with gold dust. Saint Peter says to the four Servicemen, "Your answer from the Boss. Let's see what He says." Saint Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos, and Saint Peter begins to read the note aloud to the four Servicemen:


TO: Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines


Gentlemen, all branches of the United States Armed Forces are honorable and noble. Each serves America well and with distinction. Being a serviceman in the United States Military represents a special calling warranting special respect, tribute and dedication. Be proud of that.



Head to Hogs Den for more good jokes, sea stories, and tales of the Corps.

Found on Doc Russia's blogroll (why didn't I see this before?)

What is this "muse" of which you speak? 

So, what does one blog about when the muse does not strike him? Well...... not much. If anything comes up I'll let ya know. As for right now, all I have to pass is a two big thumbs up for both Secondhand Lions and Max Payne 2 - my weekend activities.

The film, which took up 3 hours of my time (including special features), is a really good movie and not at all what I expected. But being as Robert Duvall is one of the three leads, I don't know know why I thought it would be anything less than excellent. Good family movie.

The game, which has taken up MANY hours of my time (and I'm not done with yet), is of course the sequel to one of the best shoot-em-up video games ever made, and is living up to the original in every respect. NOT a game for the family - unless your family consists entirely of people over 18.... and then, MAYBE.

Anyway, unless I'm suddenly bitten by the blog bug, don't expect too much out of me this week. I feel like catching up on some reading, but who knows?


Feb 5, 2004

Booze Cruise 

Just go read this, and then click on the slideshow. Remember, save water - drink rum.

UPDATE: Friday night booze time, and I'm taking my own advice - Captain Morgan's Private Stock and coke. Sail on, my friends, sail on.

Halftime Controversy 

No, not Janet. I'm over it. I'm talking about the K.I.D.

VFW Angry Over Kid Rock Poncho

Forget Janet Jackson: The Veterans of Foreign Wars is peeved at Kid Rock.

The VFW is upset that media outlets are ignoring the poncho Rock wore during the Super Bowl halftime show, which was made by cutting a slit in an American flag. Rock later tossed the flag into the crowd.

The VFW's commander in chief, Edward Banas Senior, says Rock's outfit was "in poor taste and extremely disrespectful." Banas lamented that the NFL, MTV and CBS have issued apologies for Justin Timberlake's ripping Janet Jackson's clothes but have said nothing about Rock.

I understand why they're upset. Kid Rock was wearing what appeared to be an American flag with a slit cut in it to make it into a poncho (or it may have been designed like that, I couldn't tell). The flag code is pretty clear on this:

"The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery."

Nobody's going to argue this. It's right there in black and white. But if we follow the code right down to the letter, I've been breaking the rules for years - I have a flag hung in my window, and that would (I guess) qualify it as "drapery."

As a matter of fact, I'd be willing to bet that MILLIONS of Americans break the flag code every year at their Fourth of July barbeques:

"The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard."

Don't tell me that you haven't at least once used paper plates or napkins with American flags on them. I know I have.

Let's be realistic about this - Kid Rock (while not necessarily being a great role model for the kids) seems like a good guy and is a proud American. He's played USO shows in Afghanistan and elsewhere and is a big supporter of the troops. It would appear that the USO stepped on their crank somewhat as far as where the funds for those shows came from, but that's not Rock's fault. He's just a guy who wants to bring you some entertainment and express his support for America at the same time.

Maybe he should have used the flag differently for his halftime gig. I know I cringed initially when I saw it. My first thought was, "That's not right. Somebody's gonna get pissed." That, of course, faded away 5 minutes later when another article of clothing (or lack thereof) made a bigger impression on the show.

But I appreciate what Rock was trying to show. The phrase often used in the Corps is "Good initiative - poor judgment." I will give him credit, though. When he took the flag off, his guitar player was johnny-on-the-spot behind him to snatch it up and make sure it never touched the ground.

Was good to see that the American Badass had some love for the American Flag.

Placing the blame 

A visit to the lovely Dana at Note-it Posts today reminded me of someone who I'd wanted to link before but forgotten about. That being Liberal Larry at BlameBush (not to be confused with CD's alter ego, "Larry the Liberal," at Semi-Intelligent Thoughts).

It's great satire, written so well that at first glance, it looks legit. The first time I went there it was because I wanted to see what kind of freak would leave such vile comments at Dana's. Instead, I came away laughing myself silly. So you can blame me, for not pointing you before to BlameBush. Just a taste:
"Fellow Americans, I come to you here today, a proud Vietnam Veteran who served his-"

"BABYKILLER!" Travis shouted.

"BUTCHER!" I joined in.

The crowd erupted in boos and hisses. Someone threw a minature French flag at me, which nearly poked my eye out. Kerry hesitated, a small bead of sweat rolling down his smooth, creaseless forehead. He cleared his throat and then went on.

"....who served his country proudly in Vietnam, while George Bush was AWOL from the Texas Air National-"


"HO HO HO CHI MINH!" Travis yelled.

The boos were deafening. Travis and I were pelted with trash and spittle. Suddenly, a strange, spectacled man grabbed us both by the scruffs of our necks, dragged us from the ballroom, and tossed us into the street.

Satisfied by our show of patriotic dissent, we collected ourselves and were just about to leave when a well-dressed fellow wearing a donkey lapel pin stopped us.

Travis gasped. My jaw dropped. Standing before us was the Grand Poobah of the DNC himself, Terry McCauliffe.

"Hey, fellas," he said, taking a drag from a turkish cigarette. "I heard what you said back there. Didn't you get the memo?"

"Memo?" I asked. "What memo?"

"The party's Official Stance on Military Service memo. We're going with a 'military service is important' approach this election cycle."

"Why? When did this happen?" Travis asked.

"When we finally found a candidate with a better military record than the Republican alternative," McCauliffe chuckled. "We looked high and low, even tried to run a republican General as a democrat, but people wouldn't buy it. They seem to be eating this Kerry freak up, though, so we're running with it. Sure, I know he's said some things in the past, but hold his service record up to Shrub's and we got ourselves the first democrat war hero president since JFK. In fact, he sorta reminds me of JFK."

"But will people go for it?"

"I think so. If not, Kerry is going to bring out Senator Biden's amputed limbs at the debates. Bush won't know what hit him."

I scratched my head. "I thought Senator Cleland was the dude who lost his limbs."

McCauliffe tossed his cigarette to the ground and crushed it under his foot. "Whatever. Anyway, I wish I could let you boys back in, but Al Franken would beat the living shit out of you."

We shook hands, said our goodbyes, and shuffled off into the cold night, kept warm by the deep sense of pride we felt for John Kerry, Vietnam Vet, War Hero, true American patriot, and Man of the People.

Feb 4, 2004

Happy Birthday! 

It's Josh Fielek's birthday over at Quibbles and Bits, so go say hi.

Some of his funniest (and at the same time most disturbing) stuff comes out when he banishes people to Hell. But his best stuff comes in the form of short stories. Stories like Whisper.

Part sci-fi, part horror, part drama, and all justice, this 15 minute read brought a smile to my face at the end. There's a couple other stories of the supernatural over there, as well. Put them all in one book of short stories and you could publish it as "bite-sized Steven King."

Go read Whisper, and then tell J happy birthday.

And the hits just keep on comin' 

A lesson to all the young bloggers: if you want traffic, a little self-advertising in the right place goes a looooooong way.

Example - today I was reading the brilliantly funny blog IMAO, which is written by the brilliantly funny Frank J. He produced a brilliantly funny post about the brilliantly stupid conspiracy theorists and frothing moonbats that inhabit the Democratic Underground website who's name must not be spoken.

Now if you've been under a rock and haven't read it yet, it's a summation of the insanity that reigns over at DU unnamed website and a 'sample quote' was "This all just goes along with the Bush*'s and the Repugs' nazi mentality. The only way we can preserve liberty is to round up the Repugs and put them in ovens."

This, of course, reminded me of someone that had their dissent stifled by me, and I left a link in Frank's comments to my Dissent Stifling post. And more than 300 people have clicked it.

That's right - Frank is responsible for the biggest influx of people to ever come here, and he didn't even DO anything. So all you hit-counter and link whores out there, take note. You don't have to wait for the great ones to notice you..... you can just steal their bandwidth without them noticing! At this rate, Ill have around 450 hits by the end of the day, which is almost 4 times what I usually get.

Jeez.... I oughta do this more often!

Feb 2, 2004

Thunderbirds crash video 

Summarily stolen borrowed from the always awesome (and usually not safe for work) Ernie's House of Whoop Ass, here's some video of the F-16 crash that GruntDoc had posted about.

From the crowd & in the cockpit.

Free pics! 

After witnessing the fallout of the whole Janet Jackson Super Bowl Halftime Show, where Justin Timberlake exposed her right breast, I was worried that my traffic might start sagging. I mean, I didn't have a blog when Britney kissed Madonna or when the Paris Hilton video hit the news. But now, I think it would be remiss of me to not take advantage of incidents involving "wardrobe malfunctions" and bare breasts. I don't see any reason I should overlook real live girls - some of them real live college girls - just because my blog has nothing to do with that sort of thing. So from now on you can expect the occasional post where nudity will be referenced, or topics such as the Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee video will be discussed. Just sayin' 'sall.
Googlers - welcome to "From the Halls to the Shores." And if you came here looking for Pammy and Tommy Lee, you really need to get over that and find something newer...

Feb 1, 2004

Super Bowl Slackday 

What does the red-blooded American male do on Super Bowl Sunday when he doesn’t like pro football? Why, he watches anyway, of course! I, like all other American men the world over who are within reach of a TV and not doing something more important, like saaaaay… going on a patrol through downtown Tikrit, or sleeping in a hole somewhere in Afghanistan… will report to my place of duty (my couch) for kickoff at 2330 Zulu, to watch the universe’s most overrated football game.

I’m not even entirely sure who’s playing, but I’ll root for the home team… wait… there isn’t a home team in the Super Bowl… it’s played on holy ground… or was that neutral ground?… Well, one’s Highlander and the other is football… whatever.

I really do not give a flying rat’s ass about this game. I don’t. I haven’t watched one NFL game all year. Some college games, sure. But the pros, their egos, and their incessant whining about how they aren’t getting enough cash are annoying. I prefer Major League Baseball… hey, consistency is for wimps.

Yes, it’s true - I said it: I don’t like Pro Football. I’m a baseball guy. And I’ll play a pickup game of football whenever, and I’ll watch college games, because those guys play with some fire. But the NFL leaves me flat. Give me a baseball game.

Well, that’s not entirely true either. I watched exactly TWO INNINGS of last year’s World Series. I just couldn’t get into either team. After my Mariners used the second half of the season to see just how fast they could implode (which has become standard operating procedure for them), I hardly watched any baseball at all. I got back into it when there was a chance at a Cubbies-BoSox Series. But we all know how that turned out. My theory is that both teams realized that if they played each other, one of them HAD to win… and neither of them was willing to take that chance. So they both bowed out early.

It’s too bad, too… can you even imagine the hysteria surrounding a Cubs-Red Sox Series? You couldn’t have pried guys away from their TVs with horses… tanks… rocket motors… sex.
“Honey – come upstairs… I’ve got the KY and the rubber sheets ready…”
“Yeah in a minute babe it’s the top of the eighth and the Cubs are up by one might be extra innings ya never know I’ll be along hey can you get me another brew before you go to bed thanks.”
By the way, that was all said in one breath… between pitches.

But, there I shall sit… hoping against hope for an interesting Super Bowl game. And I already know it ain’t gonna happen. Because the winner has already been decided: Miller. That’s right, the Miller Beer Company has already won because they have my money. And that’s what football is all about. So, I will sit on my couch, beer in hand, steak on plate, and watch the great American football game for all those guys who can’t. And enjoy the happy fact that I have the beer, and the steak, and the TV, because right now there’s some guy out there sleeping in a hole who doesn’t have any of those things. And when the time comes that I’m in the hole and he’s on his couch, I know he’ll do the same for me.

So as for the Super Bowl today, I can only really say one thing: GO BEARS!

And pass me another brewski.

Halftime UPDATE: So far the game has been OK. No real excitement until about 3 minutes before halftime. Cool ads so far. Even though AOL sucks, their ads with the guys from American Chopper have been pretty funny. My favorite though was the Bud ad where the donkey was trying out to be a Budweiser Clydesdale. The halftime show was weak, as per usual. But did I just see Janet Jackson's boob?

Game Over UPDATE: I stand corrected: that was a damn good game. Action packed 4th quarter - although I hate games that are decided by kickers. I want to see the offense go all the way to the end zone or not at all. Still, it was the best back and forth Super Bowl in a long while. Ad-wise: the Simpsons' Master Card ad was sweet, because... well, it was the Simpsons. And the Pepsi ad with Jimi Hendrix buying a Pepsi and his first guitar, vice a Coke and an accordian was good too. And I'm pretty sure I saw Janet Jackson's boob before...

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