From the Halls to the Shores

AL FRANKEN KNOCKS DOWN DEAN HECKLER

Wise-cracking funnyman Al Franken yesterday body-slammed a demonstrator to the ground after the man tried to shout down Gov. Howard Dean.

The tussle left Franken's trademark thick-rim glasses broken, but he said he was not injured.

Franken - who seemed in a state of shock and out of breath after the incident - was helped back to his feet by several people who watched the tussle. Police arrived soon after.

"I got down low and took his legs out," said Franken afterwards.

Franken said he's not backing Dean but merely wanted to protect the right of people to speak freely. "I would have done it if he was a Dean supporter at a Kerry rally," he said.

"I'm neutral in this race but I'm for freedom of speech, which means people should be able to assemble and speak without being shouted down."

The trouble started when several supporters of fringe presidential candidate Lyndon Larouche began shouting accusations at Dean.

Franken emerged from the crowd and charged one male protester, grabbing him with a bear hug from behind and slamming him onto the floor.

"I was a wrestler so I used a wrestling move," Franken said.

1 bottle of beer (San Miguel for authenticity if you can find it, but Bud will do)
5 shots DARK rum (not SPICED - DARK)
5 shots vodka
5 shots gin
1 shot bourbon (optional, for professionals only)
1 small can pineapple juice
1 small can orange juice
1 can lemon-lime soda
1 shot lime juice
Dash of grenadine
Lemon or Orange slices

Russian troops have retrieved 10 tonnes of beer trapped under the Siberian ice after a week-long operation.
....... Six divers, 10 men with electric saws and a tank pulled the beer kegs - but not the truck - to safety.

Israeli warplane overflies south Lebanon

An Israeli warplane on Wednesday broke the sound barrier over southern Lebanon, a day after the Jewish state carried out air strikes on the region, Lebanese police said.

The fighter bomber flew over most of the south, particularly over the town of Nabatiyeh where it caused supersonic booms, police said.

The overflight came after a flare-up of violence that started with Israeli violations of Lebanese airspace on Monday that drew anti-aircraft fire from Lebanese Shiite Hezbollah guerrillas and UN condemnation.

Hezbollah guerrillas later the same day destroyed an Israeli military bulldozer that UN peacekeepers in the region said had violated Lebanese territory, a charge denied by Israel.

The rocket attack, which left one Israeli soldier killed and another wounded, triggered Israeli air strikes on two abandoned bases in southern Lebanon. No casualties were reported in the strikes.

Situational Issue:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?


Liberal's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Have I tried asking him politely NOT to threaten us? What am I doing walking on a deserted street with my family in the first place -- I mean, wasn't I just asking for this to happen? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Besides the fact that my loving wife and innocent children might die a bloody, tortuous death at the hands of this obviously troubled man, what good would shooting him really do? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.


Conservative's Answer:

BANG!


Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...
(sounds of reloading).
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

"The French continue to be difficult," he complained to Marshall. "I must say that next to the weather I think they have caused me more trouble in this war than any other single factor." Thinking all the way back to the darkest days of December 1941 and putting the French in perspective, he added, " They even rank above landing craft."

Islamist website 1924.org has picked up that super-edited CNN clip called "US Marines Execute an Iraqi to the Cheers of Fellow Marines."

If you haven't seen it before, I'll give you the skinny on it. It's not an execution, it's the end of a firefight. It was taken during the war, and the Iraqi forces shown under Marine Corps fire were staging an ambush. The clip is so tightly edited that you just see a wounded Iraqi gunman trying to rise, and getting shot while tracers go over his head.

The new vehicle, formerly known as the Advanced Assault Amphibious Vehicle, was recently renamed the Expeditionary Fighting Vehicle.

In the 20th century, the Corps’ focus was on amphibious operations, but the 21st century focus is shifting to expeditionary operations, said Lt. Gen. Emil R. Bedard......

In other words, “a rose by any other name would still smell like burnt oil and diesel fuel,” according to Col. Clayton F. Nans, the direct reporting program manager at the technology center.

"Do not attack the First Marine Division. Leave the yellowlegs alone. Strike the American Army"
~ Orders given to Communist troops in the Korean War; shortly afterward, the Marines were ordered to not wear their khaki leggings to keep the enemy from immediately fleeing.

In August 1939, a group of concentration camp prisoners were dressed in Polish uniforms, shot and then placed just inside the German border. Adolf Hitler claimed that Poland was attempting to invade Germany. On 1st September, 1939, the German Army was ordered into Poland.

This war is an abject and utter failure. What everyone thought would be a quick, decisive victory has turned into an embarrassing series of reversals. The enemy, -- a ragtag, badly-fed collection of hotheads and fanatics – has failed to be shocked and awed by the most magnificent military machine ever fielded. Their dogged resistance has shown us the futility of the idea that a nation of millions could ever be subjugated and administered, no matter what obscene price we are willing to pay in blood and money.

The President of the United States is a buffoon, an idiot, a man barely able to speak the English language. His vice president is a little-seen, widely despised enigma and his chief military advisor a wild-eyed warmonger. Only his Secretary of State offers any hope of redemption, for he at least is a reasonable, well-educated man, a man most thought would have made a far, far better choice for Chief Executive.

We must face the fact that we had no business forcing this unjust war on a people who simply want to be left alone. It has damaged our international relationships beyond any measure, and has proven to be illegal, immoral and nothing less than a monumental mistake that will take generations to rectify. We can never hope to subdue and remake an entire nation of millions. All we will do is alienate them further. So we must bring this war to an immediate end, and make a solemn promise to history that we will never launch another war of aggression and preemption again, so help us God.


So spoke the American press. The time was the summer of 1864.