Dec 20, 2003


I had intended to present you a definition of the term "Ooh-rah" this evening as a parting holiday gift. But I'll tell you this now: most Marines don't know where it comes from. Really. We don't. It's just..... there.

Now some will tell you that it comes from the Turkish word for "kill" - Urah (but I never really believed that one, and I can't find a Turkish translator that gives a phonetic spelling, so who knows if that's even right). I had a roommate who told me that the Russians in "War and Peace" said Urrah to each other, but I wouldn't know because I've never had an urge to try and make myself go blind from reading a 1000-plus page tome.

So the history of "Ooh-rah" is mysterious. A Google search led me to this page which says that Ooh-rah came from Recon Marines imitating the dive klaxon on submarines that would sometimes deposit them onto the enemy's shores. That wouldn't really surprise me one bit. But all of this is not the real point. The point is that "Ooh-rah" is a Marine's fighting spirit summed up into one word. It's an affirmation, a motivational statement, and a battle cry all rolled into one.

The other services have tried to cop our style. You Army guys out there can show me definitive proof that "Hoo-ah" came before "Ooh-rah," but I'll never believe it. "Hoo-ah," to most Marines, comes off sounding weak. Sorry, Matt, but it does. It's not so much the word itself as it is the way soldiers pronounce it. It comes out sounding like a question: "Hooah?" Marines speak in the affirmative: "Ooh-rah." Period end stop.

Then there's the Navy and "Hoo-yah." Hoo-yah came from the SEALs and they should have kept it instead of allowing it to escape into the wilds of the regular Navy. See, the Navy uses Hoo-yah in an entirely different manner than the Marine Corps. For us, a hoo-yah is an object. It can be used to describe almost anything and can be nearly every word in a sentence. For example, when I was learning how to clean an M-16, a Gunnery Sergeant told my class the following:

Alright, lemme break it down shotgun style. That hoo-yah right there? Slide it out of the way so that you can reach that other hoo-yah under it. Good, now take the pin outta that hoo-yah right there.... no the other hoo-yah... yeah that one..... and clean all that crud out of it. Use those two hoo-yahs from your cleaning kit for that. Now,.......

And it all made sense with the rifle laid out in front of us. So if you say "Hoo-yah" to a Marine, he'll likely answer with "What?", "Where?", or "Which one?"

Then there's the Air Force, who, in their bid to live up to their reputation as the Silliest Service There Ever Was, tried to make their motivational cry - get this - "Air Power!" ......... wha? They had been using the Army's "Hoo-ah," but decided to dare to be different and spawned that abortion of a moto phrase. If any you Air Farce... er... Force guys out there can explain that, get back to me. Seriously, I have to know.

Any way, "Ooh-rah" will be around until the end of time or the Corps, which ever comes first. I'm betting on time giving up the fight before we do.

While I'm gone, I leave you the address to a blog that looks like it could use some patronage. I give you this for two reasons. First, it's called oohrah.org and I found it while checking out the history of "Ooh-rah." It looks like it's run by a former Marine (there are no EX-Marines.... except Lee Harvey Oswald..... and that's debatable - hell, he hit what he aimed at). The second reason is because his December 10 entry is titled "Howard Dean Is An Idiot." I like this guy already.

Merry Christmas everyone.

So the general consensus.... 

....is that I should drop and give you 20. Well fine.
There, done. No more whining from yours truly. Of course as any of our fine military bloggers can tell you, if the troops aren't bitchin', something's wrong. So trust me, everything is OK.

Now on to more pressing issues. Not to pull a Frank J or anything (who's been posting a lot for a guy who said he wasn't gonna post till January) but, there will be a hold placed on the free MRE's. Hey, Frank has free ice cream - around here, it's Meals, Ready to Eat. And I wanted to give you more warning than the Bartender, who just today decided to crawl out from under that rock of his. Mike the Marine will be going on leave tomorrow. No, really.

That's right, I'm outta here, and won't be back until 2004. Possibility for posting is slim as I'll be heading to the land of the dial-up connection (my parent's place), so don't expect to see much of me after today, though I do intend to give you a few more turds of wisdom before I go. Anyway, thanks everybody for kicking me in the nuts in the previous post's comments. I knew I could count on you. While I'm gone, if you need a Marine fix, go to R.Lee's place - if for no other reason than to watch the intro. Or head over to his Mail Call Forum and have some of the good folks over there answer your questions about all things military.



PS - By the way, bitching works. My Ecosystem ranking today is the highest it's ever been. Maybe everybody should bitch for a day. Cheers.

Dec 19, 2003

Well screw you then 

Over the last two days my traffic has dropped to half it was for the week before, something I find noticeable when I'm only averaging around 175 hits a day. I'd like to think it has to do with the fact that Blogger ate my template two days ago and when people saw a blank page they ran away screaming because they thought it might happen to them too. COME BACK!! Oh well......

Anyway, it's Friday booze time and tonight's drink of choice was going to be Captain Morgan, but I made it home before I realized I was out of the old Captain. So me and Jim Beam are spending another night together. This time I'm drinking with others though, so beer reinforcements may have to be called in. So you guys are all cut off tonight - no more bloggy from Mikey for you. Of course, the numbers say you don't care anyway, so piss off.........


My vote in the New Weblog Showcase is for this entry by Dan O'Leary. I will most likely continue to vote for any blog that endorses Howard Dean for Ass in 2004.

There's also a Part 2 to Dan's Showcase entry. I think it's even better than Part 1.

He's also an Alliance member, so let's think TEAM here, people!

Yep - No difference at all 

To anyone who said that "capturing Saddam was great but it won't make any difference" - shove it.

U.S. Takes Down Fedayeen Cell

The raid is believed to have been launched based on leads from the capture of former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, the military said.
In Friday's Baghdad raid, nine cell members, including the guerrilla leader, were arrested at dawn. The gang leader was responsible for coordinating three different cells, according to Lt. Col. Garry Bishop of the 1st Armored Division.

The raid was based on a tip from an informant and resulted in the capture of rockets, anti-tank missiles, explosives, timing devices and six 100-pound barrels of fertilizer.

It's thought there were enough weapons and ammunition to launch an attack comparable to the October homicide truck-bomb attack on the Red Cross.

"The suspected attack time was tomorrow [Saturday] night," Bishop told Fox News. "The information we received, we believe, is a fallout from information gleaned from the capture of Saddam, which identified certain cell leaders throughout the Baghdad area."

Sounds like a difference to me. Those are weapons that won't be used on US troops or Iraqi civilians. So, who still thinks that Saddam should be part of a "catch & release" program?

Oh, by the way, the Navy is living up to that whole "Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of those who threaten it" thing:

Navy Rounds Up Al Qaeda

U.S. Navy officials told Fox News that during the past week, two interdictions have taken place in the Persian Gulf, resulting in the capture of four suspected Al Qaeda operatives.

One suspect was allegedly trying to enter Iraq. Three were caught with a boat full of drugs, including heroin and hashish. It's believed that they were trafficking drugs as a means of funding terror activities throughout the region. Navy intelligence is still investigating the incidents

I quote the boss: BRING 'EM ON.

If these jackasses wanna run to the fight just so they can get nabbed, let 'em. Saves us the trouble of having to go dig them out.

Referrer log Lotto 

I get, on average, one hit a day from someone looking up info on the Iran Khodro Samand or it's predecessor, the Paykan. Apparently, what I had to say about the Iranian National Automobile was interesting enough to draw in some folks. It's also all true, as it turns out. From jokestan.cc (which shows up just below me in this Google search) I found a list of jokes that Iranians tell about their own cars. Imagine a whole country full of nothing but Pintos and Pacers. Then imagine how much THAT WOULD SUCK.

Questions about Paykan ....

Q. How do you make a Paykan accelerate 0 - 60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.

Q. What is found on the last 2 pages of every Paykan owner's manual?
A. The bus schedule.

Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Paykan"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade to me.

Q. Why do Paykans come with heated rear windows?
A. To keep your hands warm while you're pushing them.

Q. What do you call a Paykan at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.

Q. What do you call two Paykans at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle.

Q. How do you double the value of a Paykan?
A. Fill up the gas tank.

Q. What do you call a Paykan with brakes?
A. Customized.

Q. How do you make a Paykan go faster downhill?
A. Turn off the engine.

Q. Why don't Paykans sustain much damage in a front end collision?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.

Q. What do you call Paykan passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.

Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Paykan?
A. Park it between two Porsches.
Sent By: Morad_Malek

Dec 18, 2003


Dogtulosba got the call from big daddy. His main page will tell you exactly how long he has left until he becomes US Government Property indefinitely. Stop by and see him. No telling how much more blogging goodness he may be able to squeeze out.

Paperwork Drill 

For the military guys out there, you know what a nightmare paperwork can be and how stuff gets twisted around once it gets forwarded to higher headquarters. So you will appreciate what Blackfive found. Just goes to show that those guys up at HQ have been out to get you since the beginning of time.

Dec 17, 2003


Remember when Hillary Clinton told our troops that winning the war was the easy part? Does this sound EASY to you? Here’s hoping the good Senator has a long career as just that – A SENATOR. And nothing more.

I encourage everyone to read Capt Basco’s story. It’s both inspiring and frightening. Wars are not to be entered into lightly. But when you have a chance to meet the enemy in combat instead of being struck by surprise, sometimes war is the course you must travel. Iraq harbored terrorists. Iraq trained terrorists. Iraq was not a war unto itself. It’s merely the second battle in something much larger. Afghanistan was the first battle and 9/11 was the opening volley.

The lesson in all this? America is still slow to anger, but make no mistake about it – we WILL kick your ass.

Thanks for the link to Capt Basco’s story, Helen.

UPDATE: WHOOPS! Originally thanked Heather for the link.... but go read her too.

Back at it. 

Rassafrakkin Blogger.......

I now can join the ranks of people who bitch with reason about Blogger/BlogSpot. For those of you who wondered where the hell I went today - the answer is: I DON'T KNOW.

After scratching my head for a couple hours thinking that BlogSpot was down, or I did something wrong, or the damn thing just broke, I figured, "Well let's see if something's changed in my template." Lo and behold, something had changed.

My template was GONE. G. O. N. E. Fucking GONE. Disappeared. Vanished. Like a fart in the wind. Gone.

Fortunately, all my posts are still secure in Blogger, but my blogroll is toast so bear with me on that one while I rebuild it.

Another post about the Marines who grace my beloved Corps is on the way. In the meantime, read the post from this morning that I put up back when I still thought "Eh.....BlogSpot's not that bad."

Good news and bad news 

The good news is that American bases are hard targets. Apparently our positions in Turkey are so well defended that terrorists give up on them and go somewhere else. The other good news is that these guys are starting to fall apart. They no longer follow orders. Their command structure is unable to get it’s splodey-dopes to do their bidding.

But the flip-side is this: if the splodey-dopes aren’t following orders anymore, they may just splinter into another faction, and remove themselves from Al Qaeda altogether. The farther they get from “The Base,” the more difficult it may be to find them. Oh, we’ll get ‘em. It may just take a little longer.

Any way you slice it, though, these guys are losing. The leaders can’t keep control. The targets they want to hit are too difficult to get to. The targets they DO hit do not endear them to the people they both want and need on their side (aka other Muslims). Mistakes like this do not inspire potential human-firecrackers to join their cause.

Sorry Osama, but you’ve got problems bigger problems than just this.

Dec 16, 2003

I had to take this test 

And you know you want to as well. I'd like to think I'm somewhere between Sam (due to patriotism), Fozzie (due to bad jokes), Animal (due to maniacal behavior), and Statler and Waldorf (due to sarcastic/caustic commentary from the rafters). But my true nature has shown through.

Remember: It's not easy being green.

You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring. And you
have a habit of waving your arms about

"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and "Sheesh!"

"How Green Was My Mother"

"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the Internet"

Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

"Hmm, my banjo is wet."

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Found via The Swedish Heather.

This Blog Operational Pause 

Was Brought to you by: The United States Marine Corps.

Napolean said "an Army marches on it's stomach". If he were here today he'd know that it LIVES on the internet, most particularly email. I can't begin to relate to you how much business the military does via email. Now, the job I'm in currently is slow enough. Request paperwork shows up in my inbox, I print it out, I sign it, I send it to my boss. That's almost the full extent of my job description. I get the random stuff that pops up as well, but my actual job description is "Special Projects." No, not like black ops and weapons tests and cool stuff. More like coffee runs and utility infielder.

I usually keep busy by studying military education stuff, and often I end up throwing myself on top of the grenades that come flying in from nowhere, just because I have no real reason not to. As you might have guessed, if there are no metaphorical grenades being thrown, and my inbox is empty, a-blogging I shall go. But when Uncle Sam's internet server tanks, stuff pretty much comes to a halt. It's not that people don't have your phone number, it's just that they are unwilling to pick the damn thing up and call you. And we have a working fax machine, but nobody wants to send you a hard copy of whatever it is. They'll just wait and send you an e-copy. So an already slow day was crushed by the fact that I could not access anything that was farther downrange then my own hard drive. As a result, I can now pass this information to you: the human breaking point for playing computer solitaire is 8.4 hours.

So today's Op Pause was due to the fact that Mike was unplugged from the world. Now that I'm home, blogging shall commence..... or not. Hey, that copy of Medal of Honor: Rising Sun isn't gonna play itself you know.

Maybe I'll be the Minister of War.... 

when Saddam takes over America. The first step is, of course, to have Saddam blog-roll me.

I guess I can cross that one off the list.

Dec 15, 2003



Analog Kid received the tag from Puggs, and what a task he faced. But he managed to pin the remaining 21 points of the 51 Reasons Why Americans Should Elect Howard Dean, and did it in record time. The steel-cage battle-royale tag-team event has concluded! GOOD NIGHT!

1-10 11-20 21-30 31-51


Okay, I'm all about The Guvernator out there in California, but now you're pushin' it.

Ministries aren't in style in America, but do you think he'll commission a "Special Council for the Investigation of Silly Walks"?

Dec 14, 2003

King of the Ring 

The Tag-Team Championship has become a "Triple-Threat Match." Puggs steps into the ring to fisk #21-30 of the 51 Reasons Why Americans Should Elect Howard Dean. Check into Random Nuclear Strikes to see the show. It's a humdinger.

Who's got next?

1-10 from yours truly
11-20 from C.D.
21-30 from Puggs

Search engine lotto 

Cheers to whoever found me via the Google search for rifle scope blog, although why you went through fifty pages of results to get to me, I don't know.

Welcome, all the same.

Who says.... 

...that Muslims don't celebrate Christmas? Christmas in Iraq just happens to be celebrated two weeks early.

I can't say it any better than the Rott's B.C., and I agree with every single word he has to say about Iraqi Rat #1 being dragged out of his hole - literally.

I can't wait to see Allah's take on this.

UPDATE - Allah speaks!

UPDATE 2 - SADDAM'S LICE UP FOR GRABS ON EBAY! (via Allah's link to Right Wing News)

UPDATE 3 - Saddam was a-bloging when he heard a-knocking.... a knocking at his spider-hole door......

Dec 13, 2003

Screw the Instaman 

Who needs an Instalanche when you've got Misha and Matt on the case? For everyone coming here via them - welcome, and thank you gents, you are too kind. Let me show you all around.

Here's where we keep our Disclaimer. Over here, our nod to fallen heroes. This is where we teach classes on how to speak like a Marine. And that's the kitchen, where we cook up our fiskings (careful - those are still hot)..... oh yes - and let me introduce you to our friend.

This is Puggs. Puggs lives over at Random Nuclear Strikes along with roomies Nukevet and Analog Kid. He has something to say about our.... ahem..... 'friends' in Germany that are actively donating money to Saddam loyalists attacking American troops. Take it away Puggs. Give the bastards both barrels.

Dec 12, 2003

Tag-Team, back again... 

CD has his fisking of 11-20 up. Who's gonna keep this ball roling? We've got 31 to go!

Cuz it's Friday... you ain't got no job.... 

And you ain't got shit to do!

It's Friday and you know what that means..... BOOZE! Today, it's Miller High Life. Hey, it's not called the "Champagne of Beers" for nothin'.

I also feel up for a solid fisking and boy oh boy do I like today's subject: Howard Dean (D- Ass)

Semi-Intelligent Thoughts points us to this: 51 Reasons Why Americans Should Elect Howard Dean

C.D. recognizes that this is in dire need of fisking, but doesn't have the time. I'm hoping I can kick-start his fisk engine, so I'll dive in first. Here we go!

1) I love the American ideal. I'm not so enamored of my country's beauty to believe it comes close to perfection. But it has permitted the advance of human rights in a world that too easily surrenders to the brutal. I'd like to further that and am convinced Howard Dean will achieve that.

Hold on. Still laughing at thought of Howie being tough on human rights abusers like Cuba, Libya, and well..... Iraq. Hehehe. Ok, continue.

2) Howard Dean is a doctor. His partner is a doctor. They have demonstrated a commitment to healing and this country is in need of healing.

So he intends to make house calls? To everyone? In the country? In the world?

3) We suffered as a large, extended family on 9/11/01, at the hands of haters who were indifferent to the value of over 3,000 lives and the tens of thousands of lives they touched. The world mourned our loss with us. Our leaders responded to properly dismantle the government of Afghanistan that had directly harbored the leaders of those haters. But our leaders then redirected that mission to a war with Iraq that was unnecessary, resorting to deception and dishonesty, and resulting in tit-for-tat brutalities that blurred the line between a moral defense and the immoral.
Howard Dean understands the Hippocratic Oath: first, do no harm.

Let me hit you idiots out there over the head with this ONE MORE TIME: IRAQ WAS HARBORING TERRORISTS. I don't give a good goddam if they were Al-Qaeda, Hamas, PLO, Action Direct, the IRA, or ELF. A terrorist is a terrorist. You help them - your ass is on the hit list. It's a long list, so have a seat and wait your turn. NEXT!

4) To the credit of the Democratic Party, four of its current candidates, including Dean, recognized why this war was wrong and opposed it. But at this point, only Dean has a chance of being elected to utilize the strength of that moral wisdom.

Good God, you twit. "Moral wisdom"? Is this another thing about him being a doctor? If it is, ask him if it hurts when I do this? [/flips bird]

5) Contrary to what his detractors claim, his views on this war do not reflect a commitment to passivity in the face of aggression. He would maintain peace through strength, he would aggressively pursue the dismantling of terrorist organizations and he would yield nothing to any foe. It's an old Republican canard to suggest that a Democratic President would be weak on defense but the historical record provides no evidence to support that myth. They made the claim that Clinton was weak on defense, yet he successfully stopped an ongoing slaughter in Bosnia and it was the military that Clinton built that proved itself up to the task of knocking out the Taliban government and the Hussein government.

Hmmm where to begin? "He would maintain peace through strength..... but be commited to the Hippocratic Oath: first, do no harm." That's like telling the pitcher "Yeah that guy has a bat, but he won't swing it, no matter what." 3 strikes - you're out. And the next person who says that Afghanistan was handled by Clinton's military gets punched in the mouth. The military that exists today is what survived Clinton. That bastard didn't BUILD anything. He cut us to the bone and then tried to suck out the marrow. And Bosnia? Oh yeah - they're all puppy-dogs and ice cream over there right now.
Howard Dean, like numerous governors who became President, lacks foreign policy experience, but he displays an understanding of the importance of military strength and has a demonstrable capacity for surrounding himself with talented and successful advisers.

WHO, exactly, are these advisors and what are their credentials? And do they carry around little red books with them everywhere they go? Inquiring minds and all that....

6) Howard Dean understands that the US military is strong enough to go it alone when necessary for the common defense. Yet he also recognizes that in most instances, it is preferable to coordinate and work with allies against common enemies. Without being hamstrung by the intransigence that can occur in bodies like the UN, he recognizes that diplomatic means exist to resolve such differences most of the time.

Wow - seems I've heard all that before. FROM G.W. BUSH. Why is Howie cleared to say this but W isn't? Anyone? Bueller?

7) In Iraq, Hussein was weakened by a decade of sanctions, overflights and armed attacks by our vigilant air defense team. While maintaining a belligerent stance, Hussein was gradually ceding to aggressive inspections maintained by the threat of force. Dean felt this approach was succeeding in disarming Hussein and neutralizing his threat. The evidence since we began this war supports Dean's views, as no WMDs have been found.

Yesssss.... hey did you know the Earth was flat? Well it was. Until it wasn't. Hey here's a question: if Saddam had no WMDs, then how come Clinton said he did (repeatedly) and you bought it? Which is it? I mean, they aren't there now, but we didn't see them leave between when Bill left office and today...... hmmmmmm...... it's a mystery. Jinkies, gang! To the Mystery Machine!

8) It wasn't just Dean's guesswork that yielded that assessment. It had become clear to many people that Bush's intent to attack Iraq was driven by a policy defined by neocons associated with the Project for a New American Century (PNAC), who had articulated a plan to take down Hussein several years before Bush took office. It also became clear to many that the 'evidence' used to justify the takedown was very thin, occasionally was proven to be distortions of past reports or based on hearsay from less than credible sources. Like millions of Americans and millions across the globe, Dean saw through the dishonesty correctly.

Ooooooo.... those evil neo-cons! They'll get theirs! Yes...... that evidence was so thin.

9) Dean also understood that most of the mass atrocities committed by Hussein had taken place before the first Gulf War a dozen years earlier, or in the immediate aftermath of that war, when he put down civil uprisings against his regime. He also understood that Hussein was brutal and repressive and that an armed response would be necessary if Hussein were to threaten his neighbors with military action, but that Hussein had not done so for years. Dean wanted Hans Blix to complete the WMD inspections process which is what our allies at the UN asked for.

Oh well, it all happened a long time ago! What were we thinking?! Hey while we're at it why don't we open up free trade with Castro? I mean HE hasn't pulled any shit on us in a while, right? And make sure ol' Hans and the rest of the Inspector Clouseau team from the UN get in there so they can overlook all that stuff that Saddam didn't ever have anyway right? It's not like Kofi Annan was personally lining his pockets with money from the "Oil for Food" program, or anything. So why wouldn't he and Hans want to find those weapons and bring that program to a screeching halt? Hmmm?

10) Knowing full well that Americans would overlook the deceptions that sent our troops to Iraq at the first proof of WMDs, many Democratic legislators voted to hand Bush the authority to go to war. Politically, this is called 'playing it safe.' Dean took a big risk with his war opposition. Had WMDs been found, voters would consider him foolish. But he didn't take the position he did to gamble. He took the position because it was morally right to go to war only after the alternatives were exhausted.

Well, it's good to see that you at least admit to Leftist ass-covering. I don't doubt for one second that Democrats gave Bush full authority to go kick some ass because they wanted him to later fall on his sword. Or was it because after 9/11 they suffered from a moment of clarity brought on by that giant turd rolling down their trouser leg when they realized that terrorism had arrived on their front doorstep? I get those two so confused.....

Allright C.D..... I just delivered the Flying Elbow from the top rope, and tagged you in. Go get 'im!

Thought of the Day 

[UPDATE - Image removed because you guys chewed up my bandwidth at about 4 times the rate I thought you would, and I can no longer post the image for free. I'm currently looking for a good image hosting service that gives me unlimted bandwidth (not just unlimited uploads) on the cheap.]

Hot off the referrer logs 

I'm all about seeing who's out there..... seeing me. So today, I stopped by dogtulosba to get another Army take on things. Good stuff. He may get called back to the fight soon, so go see what's up because he might have to cut the blogging short.

So as I go through HIS blogroll I come across this little gem: Chair Force

Yes - Chair Force. Go for the Hot Air Force Chicks (seriously..... GO), stay for the funny-ass stories. I like this airdale.

Dec 11, 2003

Maddox Rules 

If you don't know about Maddox, you've been living under a damn rock, and this is the funniest goddam thing I've read in weeks. There's a reason he calls it "The Best Page in the Universe."

Allahu Akbar 

Allah is a funny man. And Howard Dean is still an ass.

I love free stuff 

Thanks goes out to Cait of Caiterwauling for first telling me how to get free image hosting at www.freepicturehosting.com and then giving me a picture to post.

Via Cait:
[UPDATE - Image removed because you guys chewed up my bandwidth at about 4 times the rate I thought you would, and I can no longer post the image for free. Visit the Snopes link below if you want to see the picture.]

If you look closely at the picture above, you will note that all the Marines pictured are bowing their heads. That's because they're praying. The incident took place at a recent ceremony honoring the birthday of the corps, and it has the ACLU up in arms. "These are federal employees," says Lucius Traveler, a spokesman for the ACLU, "on federal property and on federal time. For them to pray is clearly an establishment of religion, and we must nip this in the bud immediately." When asked about the ACLU's charges, Colonel Jack Fessender, speaking for the Commandant of the Corps said (cleaned up a bit), "Screw the ACLU."

What was I just saying about the present church/state situation in America?

Thanks Cait. Free blog. Free pictures. Freedom.

UPDATE: Snopes says the story is bogus. Screw Snopes.

This is either stupid or brilliant 

Being as it's France, I tend to lean toward the former, but......

French Panel Backs School Ban of Head Scarves
On a visit last week to Tunisia, Chirac told high school students that wearing a veil in France was seen as "a sort of aggression."

Well, hell. In France ANYTHING can be interpreted as aggression. These guys remind me of the kid that you'd try to scare so he'd jump back and then you could give him "two for flinching."

This is France's apparent first public recognition of the fact that they are being overrun by militant Islam. I find it encouraging that they are doing something about it. You know - like that whole separation of Church and State thing that we've been doing for over 200 years. Yeah. Why don't ya get on board with the team and come on in for the big win (another thing France knows all about: leaching onto the winner at the last possible second).

I just wonder if this is the right step to take. I mean as much as I'm a fan of shutting down radical Islam, I'm also a fan of religious freedom. For everyone. This bill is going to smack down every faith and could possibly throw France into the same debacle with church/state separation that America is facing right now, wherein saying the word "God" in school can get kids expelled.

Look, I don't mind you wearing whatever you want on your head: scarf, yarmulke, crown of thorns, whatever. And I don't mind religion being seen in public schools. I mind religion being TAUGHT in public schools, but do you really expect the kids to leave their religious identity at the door? I don't, and neither should anyone else. You want to do something about Islamic terrorism, Pierre? How about you do more of THIS and let the rest of the kids keep their headgear, mkay?

Of course, this whole thing isn't about stopping terrorism, it's about saving France for the French. But I suppose I'm good with that too. I mean if the French don't have France to be localized in, then they'll spill out into the rest of the world..... and we can't have THAT, now can we?

Student finds largest known prime number 

From CNN.com:

DETROIT, Michigan (AP) -- More than 200,000 computers spent years looking for the largest known prime number. It turned up on Michigan State University graduate student Michael Shafer's off-the-shelf PC.
The number is 6,320,430 digits long and would need 1,400 to 1,500 pages to write out. It is more than 2 million digits larger than the previous largest known prime number.

I'd supply the link to the story, but I think the number of people saying "Who gives a rat's ass?" is equal to the value of the number in question.

Voting time 

My vote in the New Weblog Showcase.

Anti-antiwar lays out a little "future history" lesson for the raving neo-hippy movement.

Beaten to the punch 

I came up with great ideas for posts yesterday, but all you guys screwed me out of 'em. Yep - it's YOUR fault that I didn't post yesterday..... oh yeah. As I got set up in Blogger, I cruised around blogdom yesterday to see what everybody had to say and realized that everyone had already beaten me to the punch. I wanted to write about our Euro "allies" getting screwed out of the Iraq rebuild.... nope. Okay, maybe how Howard Dean is an ass... too late. Well then Kucinich... yeah, he's an ass too, right? Dammit. Yeah, but that was pretty short so I'll just do a lengthier piece about the Tin-foil Hatted Freak. I mean he's got plenty of stupid to go around, so I'll just.... SON OF A....!!! Okay.... build people up, don't tear them down...... how about some good news in the LtCol West case? Been there, done that.

C'mon you guys, you're taking all my best stuff. I can't even write about what kind of women I like or what kind of woman I..... ahem.... love.

Alright, I draw ya'll a picture.... something funny... something like.... D'OH! Okay.... calm down Mike. Just think.... there must be something that hasn't already been blogged. Ummmmm.... ok France. Yeah, France still sucks. Oh, right. Nevermind then.

Dammit. Well maybe I can just get away with another post about Battlestar Galactica. OH C'MON!!!

Alright... screw it. I'll just do a linky-love post and call it good. Awwww........ crap. You guys all suck.

Dec 9, 2003

By your command. 

So I just watched both parts of the new Battlestar Galactica and all I can say is that it pretty much kicked ass. It abandoned some of the stuff from the original show, and made a few radical changes - like Starbuck and some of the Cylons now have BOOBS and are really 'fraking' hot. But it really held on to the good stuff, and is far more cognizant of what would really occur in that situation than the first Galactica ever was. Main example: how would the civilian government and the military interact in a situation where 98% of both entities was destroyed? And what kind of sacrifices would have to be made - who do you take and who do you leave behind?

I don't recall what the very first episode of the original series was like, but I always thought that the series picked up with the humans already on the run. This Galactica starts before the Cylons attack, and then shows some great stuff from the ensuing battle. I'm sure SciFi will be showing it again in the coming days, so definitely check it out. I'd like to tell you when, but their server appears to be down right now. Probably overloaded from guys like me trying to find more juicy pics of the new Cylons and Starbuck (I still think it's weird that Starbuck is female - he'll always be the A-Team's "Face" to me).

If you're a fan of the original, you'll enjoy picking up on all the references they threw into the new one. If you haven't seen the original - well tough. Watch this one anyway. You'll dig it.

UPDATE: Be sure you can identify friend from foe. Like a cup o' Starbucks, "Caution! Contents are Hot!"

This just in from the DUH file: 

Psychologist: Malvo Mentally Unwell

Noooooooo. Ya think?

I could give a rat's ass if this so-called 'sniper' was as grounded as the Exxon Valdez. Both Malvo and Muhammad are twisted in the head fuckos who need to be put down. You want the money quote?

[Psychologist] Cornell also testified about Malvo's intense interest in the film "The Matrix," which Malvo watched more than 100 times -- including just before Franklin's shooting.

How many times do I have to say this? Even the Wookie Defense won't get you off, you sick bastard. You, and the jackass who capped his parents last February, can site whatever movies you want to, but a couple million movie-goers the world over who HAVEN'T KILLED ANYBODY say blow it out your ass.

On a different tangent of this story: I'm sick of everybody calling these guys "snipers." These assholes are NOT snipers. It's debatable whether or not they're even good marksmen. Don't get me wrong, they're despicable killers, and should be executed as such. But I've known snipers, and these jagoffs ain't it.

A sniper is a dedicated professional, devoted to a life of discipline and training in service of a cause greater than himself. Say what you want to about their role in warfare, or the moral status of what they do (neither of which I have a problem with, by the way), but you cannot deny that snipers are consummate professionals in every sense of the word.

These two asses were using a scope to hit a man-size target at ranges of maybe 150yds. Hell, I can do that. At three times the distance...... without the scope..... with the same rifle. I'm not impressed.

Let me break it down shotgun style. These dead-men-walking's final act should be to get a lesson on what REAL snipers are like. I say we strap their asses to the targets on the 1000yd range at Marine Corps Base Quantico, Virginia, and let some Sergeants with .50 caliber rifles start taking off limbs one by one.

Either that or we let 'em loose in the woods and tell them that a contingent of Marine and Ranger scout/sniper teams is on their ass in an hour.

Remember: You can run, but you'll only die tired.

Dec 8, 2003

A fisking we shall go 

A Marine who I used to work with has left a hellacious fisking over in the comments of this post at Dog Snot Diaries. He's one helluva good guy. I know him as "Smokin'" but he posts under the nom de guerre of "Nikoms."

To what claims to be a 13 year old Frenchman with an 'I-hate-America complex,' he replies:

Doubt it. You're a 36 yr.old coffee peddler with a major in Cheese History, you wear a hair net and a name-tag You've got issues with beef and vegetables. A cup of horrible coffee and a stinky, non filtered cigarrette is tantamount to the best lay you've ever had. The only person you hate more than G. W. Bush is Lance Armstrong, an AMERICAN, who has crushed more French dreams than Adolph Hitler. BTW, Lance only has one nut.

It just gets better. Go check out my man, and the blog who's gonna make him famous - Dog Snot Diaries.

Say what? 

I realized today as I drove home that many of you may need a Marine to English dictionary at some point to keep up with phrases I may use on the blog out of habit. Matty O’ Blackfive may have a plethora of Army stories that far exceed whatever I could give you, but I have one thing he does not – Marinespeak.

I intend to make this a recurring feature. At random intervals you’ll be given some Marine twist of phrase that makes very little sense to the rest of the world, but makes perfect sense to those of Mother Green and Her Killing Machine.

For those of you who are not Marines (or privileged enough to know a Marine) you may not be familiar with how we talk. We have a language all our own. It sprang from the way the Navy talks, because we sprang from the Navy. Now, the Navy speaks a really goofed up language that nobody else does – taking perfectly good words and replacing them with something completely different. For instance a “bathroom” is not a “bathroom.” It’s “the head.” And a “door” is a “hatch.” And a “window” is a “porthole” and well….. you get the idea. So we as Marines took all that on board and then created some phraseology that you probably won’t get ANYWHERE else.

Today’s phrase is:

Break it down shotgun style.

This phrase is not all that hard to grasp. You don’t even have to be this guy to figure it out. But what it usually references is more subtle.

So – exactly HOW does a shotgun “break down?” Simple. If you’ve no experience with weapons, think of Elmer Fudd. Well, maybe not Elmer, because he always had a shotgun that was both a double-barrel breech-loader AND a pump-action, but I digress. The point is, when you open a double-barrel shotgun to reload it, it looks like a big, obtuse letter “L.” The M-16 can be taken apart in much the same manner for cleaning.

See, an M-16 is held together by two pins, really. That’s all. They slide right in and out and are about an inch long and a quarter inch in diameter. If you remove the rear one, the top of the rifle rotates 90 degrees over the lower half and hangs there looking not unlike an open shotgun. In this manner you can quickly give the weapon a once over, knock off all the big chunks of crap inside and then quickly reassemble it.

At boot camp, it’s assumed that you know nada about cleaning or assembly of an M-16, so the first step is to “break it down shotgun style.” This turn of phrase has, in the Marine Corps, taken on the meaning of explaining things in the simplest terms, one step at a time. So, what I'm doing to you NOW, is basically breaking it down shotgun style.

The phrase even has a younger brother, one that describes breaking things down into even simpler terms, so that a small child (or a realllllly confused Private) can understand.

“Break it down Barney style.”

Yes, that Barney.

What's that behind your back Saddam? 

No... in the other hand.....

WHY YOU LITTLE!........ How many times have I told you *whack* not to *whack* HIDE *whack* CHEMICAL *whack* WEAPONS! *WHACK*

You're grounded mister! Now go to your room and stay there until........ you die.

Man Scams Toys for Tots by pretending to be a Marine... 

Dec 7, 2003


I had intended to post this at around 1pm EST today, but I’m now officially Blog*Spoted. Blogger has crapped out on me for the first time. So, this comes to you as of………… whenever.

Why 1pm? Because it’s 8am in Hawaii. On a Sunday just like this, 62 years ago, soldiers, Marines, and many sailors in the service of the United States were in a fight for their very lives. 2395 would lose that fight (54 of which were civilians), 1102 on the USS Arizona alone. That ship still bleeds for them – oil still rises from it’s battered hull to this day. They say that the oil will stop when the last man who fought at Pearl Harbor finally passes away. I believe them.

Tora! Tora! Tora!

It’s one of my favorite movies. But that one word – repeated three times over the Japanese radio frequency so as not to be confused over the airwaves with anything else – signaled the beginning of a different era. An era where an America, tested in fire, would be the leader of the world. An era where we would be loved for what we are and hated for even existing - but ALWAYS respected.

Some call it “fear.” It’s respect. Even the soon-to-be-ventilated thugs hiding in the hills of Tora Bora and the ready-to-meet-Allah remnants of Saddam’s Fedayeen respect us. They’ll call it “hate.” It’s respect. Love us if you want, fear us if you will, hate us if you must – but you WILL respect us.

62 years ago, America was not respected. We’d pulled Europe’s fat out of the fire in ’19 and were not respected afterwards. Teddy Roosevelt’s Great White Fleet was even farther removed, having been “on float” for the entirety of 1908. An impressive display, but ancient history by the time the Japanese Imperial Fleet set sail eastward. Some of those proud ships that TR had commissioned were still in service in 1941, but none of them were ready for a fight. The enemies of America saw weakness. They saw a pushover. They saw a pencil-neck geek whom they could beat up and take his lunch money. But some people knew enough to see that once America gets pushed it pushes back.

Contrary to popular belief, the Japanese commander, Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, never said, “I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.” There is not one shred of proof that he ever uttered those words. In fact, the first person to maybe ever say them out loud was Soh Yamamura, playing Yamamoto, in Tora Tora Tora. But we can be reasonably sure that Yamamoto knew the score. He’d lived in America, he knew what we were about, and if there is such a thing as karma – well, then he wouldn’t have flinched in 1941 if you’d told him that he’d be dead less than two years later because a US P-38 shot him down over islands that he was still in control of.

And so we find ourselves here, two years after our second “day of infamy,” looking back at the first one, and making comparisons. Why did we get hit on September 11th, 2001? For the same reasons that we got hit on December 7th, 1941. We were not respected. Our enemies are long on anger and short on memory. And not a one of them is half as intelligent as Yamamoto or deserves the respect accorded Yamamoto. But their fates will be the same as Yamamoto. They still think they have a chance to win. They still are under the delusion that victory is attainable. They don’t know about karma.

We do not quit. We do not stop. We squabble amongst ourselves, and at times fight like brothers. But just let somebody outside the family try to hurt my brother…… then stand the hell back. Osama and Saddam are the present day Tojo and Hitler: long on rhetoric and cruelty, but short on brainpower. They don’t know about us. They didn’t get it. They didn’t crack open a history book and flip to the page that said “December 7, 1941: the day America became leader of the world.” And so, they are doomed to repeat the course of history, and to learn the same lesson.

The outcome of WWII was by no means certain, but America was resolved to either win or die trying. The only thing that has really changed between then and now, is that there is no way we are going to die trying this time. We ARE going to win. How long it takes, and how many lives it costs are the only unknowns, but we ARE going to win. You WILL respect us. And someday, when somebody else who doesn’t know their history throws a third “day of infamy” at us, they’ll end up respecting us too. Or they’ll get to die trying as well.

UPDATE: Misha knows the score, too

Dec 5, 2003


A moose once bit my sister.... 

I'm linking this for a couple reasons. First, it's the story of a Marine who earned his US citizenship the hard way. He died for it. He died defending a country that he was not even officially a part of. Let that sink in for a minute.......... Yeah. Semper Fi, Devil Dog.

Secondly, it's over at the Bear's New Weblog Showcase, and since I'M a new weblog, I figured I'd show a little solidarity.

And third, I love the name of this page: bullmooserepublicans.com. Me and Teddy Roosevelt - we're tight. Oh yeah, he saved my life at San Juan Hill after I took a bullet for him.

Yeah, ok. But wouldn't that be a cool story?

Drinking and Blogging 

Mmmmmmmmm...... Jim Beam. It's not just for breakfast anymore. Hey, it's Friday - back off.

As some of you may have guessed, I often peruse blogs from work. This is because I have lots of time to waste in my current staff-weenie job. More about that later, if I feel like it...... or not. Anyway, one of the guys I work with is a bit of an odd duck. Good guy, just some things I'm not used to seeing in a Marine. For instance, he likes NPR. No, really....... he likes it.

Now, I'll listen to NPR as background noise when I'm not really paying attention but this guy puts it on the radio every morning. I can handle this because the only other station we can pick up is a classic rock station with a tiny music library (I think they have like 5 mix-tapes on repeat). So there I was this morning listening to National Pravda Radio.

On comes this story about the Democrat Mayor of Dallas, Laura Miller. Now, I don't know thing one about Laura Miller, nor do I care. I don't live in Dallas and don't plan to anytime soon. But the purpose of this whole thing is to tell you what I heard.

I didn't catch the guy's name, but he's the former Chairman of the Texas Chapter of the DNC. I went to NPR.org to try to download a transcript of the show so I could give you the exact quote, but they want like $16 or something. Screw them. They ain't gettin' my money.

So, they are talking to him about the fact that minorities are very upset with some of Mayor Miller's policies. I don't know what those policies are, or why they are upset - but apparently they are pissed for some reason. What comes out of this man's mouth leaves me speechless. As best I can remember, he said this:

"Well, some minority groups are upset with the mayor for doing things that they perceive to be bad for their group. But it's obvious that the Mayor is doing what's best for them."

Are you kidding me? "It's obvious that the mayor is doing what's best for them."? Of course, I can't adequately describe tone of voice in this format, but the guy came off sounding like a parent dealing with a spoiled child. He was only inches away from saying "shut up, and sit down, because we know better what's right for you than you do."

This kind of leftist spew drives me nuts. This assclown all but came out and told the world that the Left is smarter about everyone than they are about themselves and they should just sit back and take it. Well, screw him! I have yet to find anyone that knows more about me than me.

This is what they want, people. They want your votes, your jobs, your livelihoods. They want you to be so dependent on them that, not only will you not think for yourself anymore, you won't even want to. Leftists. Communists. Socialists. Democrats. These words are becoming interchangeable.

On the one hand, I'm glad that the Cabinet of Clowns running for the Dem nomination are all trying to "out-Left" each other. They just look worse and worse. But on the other hand it scares me greatly, because if by some twist of fate any one of these types winds up running the show, we are in for a world of hurt.

So, about being a Microbe..... 

Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhh...... I'm gonna hafta kind of disagree with you there.

But I will say this: if Harvey and many others hadn't suffered as Microbes, I could never have hit the Ecosystem as a Slithering Reptile. All that being said, I'm sure that I'll soon drop down into the region of "Crawly Amphibian." But you know what, as a Marine I'm all about being amphibious. Just remember - it's not easy being green.

Thanks for the initial boost you guys. You all rock.

Dec 4, 2003

But I LIKED being unreachable 

As I look around the 'sphere, I see that I'm already getting all kinds of love. I'm somewhat overwhelmed. I mean, I've been at this for a little over 24 hours and have already heard more than a few "Well, it's about damn time!"s. Thanks everyone.

The Bartender has graciously offered his services to make this place look a little more "salty" (that's a GOOD thing, for those of you who don't speak Marine), while also making me a member of the Corner of the Bar Gang. Awwww, shucks.... ya shouldn't have.

Harvey, was good enough to give me some free advice (you'll notice I'm already following rule 1). Although I'm not sure how I should take being called "a pathetic microbe".....

I, sir, am a FIREBREATHING microbe of death and destruction, and am at least as powerful as the flu-bug. Well, maybe the sniffles...... but that could develop into a sore throat OR WORSE, so just you watch it mister!

Anyway, I'm trying to be a little more accessible. As you'll see above the links on the sidebar, I now have an actual email account. I would always post with "HallsofMontezuma@ShoresofTripoli.mil" as my email. If you don't get, then you need to report to this man for remedial military history training. The 'dot mil' part I just threw on because all military websites end in ".mil" so I thought it might look a little different. Anyways, there it is.

Oh by the way - does anybody know if you can install a trackback feature into BlogSpot? The best I could find out about it was here and it looks like that's still under development. But if anybody knows better, please tell me. Chances are that if you read me, I'll want to read you!

Semper Me.

And speaking of Nuclear Strikes..... 

mtpolitics alerts us in the comments of this post that Seattle's own IMC website - the one that started it all for IndyMedia - is about to die a horrible death. Some things in life just make you smile......

What's old is new again 

In a shameless effort to both put up some content, and drive even a little business to one of my favorite blogs, Random Nuclear Strikes, I dove back into other people's archives and pulled out this.

The Analog Kid had written a short little blurb about the Iranian National Automobile, The Khodro Samand. I went to their website, and was inspired to post the following:

All right, so I clicked on the link to read all about the pimpin' ride of the typical Iranian Mad Mullah, and it just BEGGED to be fisked.... so I did. Now, for your viewing pleasure, I will fisk .....an automobile.

**Samand, the National Automobile , Beginning of the production project in 1996, Made in 2000**

Hmmmm, national automobile. What's Farsi for "Volkswagen?"

**After three decades from production of Paykan, with no alteration in its form or structure, the need to design and manufacture a new automobile quite different from the present type was strongly felt.**

After three decades of buying lawnmower engines with seats, we felt we needed to modernize to the 1985 standards.

**Therefore, Iran Khodro management decided to design and produce prototypes of the national automobile, called Samand, in Iran Khodro Research Center with cooperation of Iranian experts and engineers, in line with the national development strategies and in competition with foreign automobile manufacturing companies.**

What competition? You can't export it and IT IS the NATIONAL CAR after all, so who's cars you going to import?

**In this automobile, the most modern systems of safety and comfort have been anticipated, including seat belts for all passengers,**

As opposed to the one big one they all had to share before...

**central lock,** (just the one lock)

**powered window winders,** (I didn't know windows wound)

**air conditioner, radio cassette player,** (again, the 1985 standard)

**left and right wing mirrors adjustable from the interior, etc.
This automobile has been designed by the aid of Iranian and foreign consultants, its engine is 1761 cm3,**

A 107 cubic inch engine!! You can almost feel the wind in your beard!! Sorry, I couldn't find a horse-power to camel-power conversion ratio...

**none of the parts of the present Paykan have been used in it, and it is a completely new and modern automobile with high safety, front axle,**

Oh good, it has a front axle now. What was it before? A unicycle?

**numerous accessories, and newly designed body.
It will be even of higher quality than Peugeot 405.**

OOOOOOHHHHH!!! It'll be a better product than a FRENCH car!! What a bold and powerful statement THAT makes!!

**By the design and manufacturing of Iran Samand, Iran will join the automobile making countries of the world.**

Again, WHO? China? Cuba? Libya? North Korea? Should we call them the "Axle of Evil?" (Hey, maybe that's where that new front axle came from....)

**Annual production level will start with 5000 units, to be increased gradually to over 200,000 units within five years.**

That would be presuming that the Mad Mullahs are still running the show over there in five years and all those pissed off college students haven't taken over the joint and decided to buy Ford F150's instead.

Don't get your heart too set on making these things in quantity, Mad Mullahs. I have a feeling that in a couple years ol' "Cal" Muhammad won't be the only game in town that's "clubbing a baby camel" to make you a better deal on that new or used car. Free markets and consumer choice could make this a very short production run....

Posted by: Mike the Marine on September 30, 2003 11:58 AM

So there you go - a little regurgitated ME. Remember, stop on by RNS and show some love.

Dec 3, 2003

I'll get it out of the way now 

If you're reading this, you're probably here from there anyway..... er, whatever......

But I'll just point out that I'm already loved and adored the 'sphere-over.

Hey, it's MY house and I can have an "I love ME" wall if I want to, can't I?


I know that most people start out on BlogSpot, so some of you may be more up to speed on this than I am. But why is it that BlogSpot's own spell checker does not recognize the word "blog"? I mean, I know it might not be in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (yet), but I find that a little odd.

UPDATE: BlogSpot's spellcheck doesn't recognize "blogspot" either. Is it any wonder that people switch to MT?


This blog's content in no way reflects the policies, official positions, or opinions of: the United States Marine Corps, the Department of the Navy, the Department of Defense, the Department of Corrections, the Men's Department, the department store, or Bill Clinton.

That being said, you may at some point see an overlap between what I say and what they say....... except for Bill Clinton.

He's a dick.

And so....... it begins....... 

All right here it goes. I finally broke down. For the two of you out there that were screaming..... ok, pleading..... alright, wondering if I had a blog, well wonder no more. Here it is - bigger than life and twice as ugly. The latest push came from Harvey of Bad Money who pressed the issue along with Big Stick's Jeff and Wetwired's Pylorns in this post. I only pray that I prove to be as good at this as you guys think I can be.

This was something I wanted to do for awhile now, but just kept putting off. I'd satisfy myself by lurking around in other people's comments - which is something I'll probably still do more often than post here. But I figure, what the hell. Besides, I've got the Frank J. stamp of approval. Who else in the blogosphere can say that they have co-written an "In My World"? So stay tuned, and I'll sort this sucker out. Hell, I'm not even sure if I have the comments turned on yet, but nobody's reading this so who the hell is gonna have a comment anyway, right?

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